Page 22 of Lord Gabriel’s Undoing

Atkins gave her a funny look and started to pick the rest of her discarded clothing up. “So is this what you wish to wear this morning, milady?”

Phoebe eyed the gathering pile of clothes in her maid’s arms. “Well, no… Having tried them on in the night I’ve decided not to wear that gown, or those stockings. None of it, in fact.”

Atkins gazed down at Phoebe’s boots. “You wanted to wear boots this morning?” She made it sound like a heinous crime.

Phoebe sipped her tea to cover her guilt. “Well, I thought I might go out. You and I could walk to the park. That would be a nice thing to do today. You know. Get some fresh air.”

Atkins nodded, but didn’t look as though she believed her mistress. “Very well, milady.” As Phoebe nibbled her toast she began putting away the discarded clothes. The stockings at least went into the laundry.

Phoebe was just beginning to feel confident that she wouldn’t be caught out lying, when her door burst open and Mattie came bouncing in, wearing her dressing gown over her night attire. For a tall girl, she was surprisingly light on her feet. Ignoring Atkins, who was tutting to herself with her head in the wardrobe, Mattie bounced across the room and onto the end of Phoebe’s bed. The breakfast tray teetered a little but stood fast.

“Oh Phoebe, I couldn’t wait for you to get up. I couldn’t even wait to get dressed myself, even. I wanted to talk to you about last night’s ball.” She glanced over her shoulder towards the door, which Atkins had closed for her. “Without Mama listening to what we’re saying, that is. It was quite impossible to talk in the carriage on the way home last night. Not in private, anyway.”

It had indeed been remarkably quiet in the carriage on their way home from the ball. Mattie, who was usually the most voluble of young ladies, had clearly been keeping her observations to herself. And Aunt Fanny, who’d complained of being exhausted, had most likely thought her two charges were feeling the same.

Phoebe glanced across at Atkins who was examining the boots up close. Had she left traces on them to show she’d been outside while wearing them? Scuffs, maybe, that hadn’t been there yesterday? Phoebe shifted uncomfortably in bed, and her tray wobbled again.

Mattie seized the tray. “Here, let me put it out of temptation’s way or you’ll end up with a lap full of hot tea.”

Phoebe only had time to grab her toast before the tray was deposited on the table in the window.

Mattie gave Atkins a nod. “Lady Phoebe will ring for you when she’s ready to get up.”

Atkins, still holding the boots, bobbed a curtsy and departed. Phoebe could only hope her maid wasn’t going to be taking those boots to Aunt Fanny as proof that her mistress had been out gallivanting at night when she shouldn’t have been. But most likely they were only going on a short trip down to the boot boy so he could polish them. Why would anyone possibly suspect she’d been out in the middle of the night? Of course they wouldn’t. She had to stop being paranoid.

“Now,” Mattie declared, bouncing back onto the now safe bed. “Now I want to know what you thought of your first ball.”

Phoebe bit her lip. Did Mattie want the truth? But they’d been more than just cousins all their lives, and although Phoebe was often a little envious of the cousin she saw as more beautiful than herself, between them existed an enduring friendship and trust.

“I hated it,” Phoebe said. “Did you perhaps think I wouldn’t?”

Mattie shrugged. “I was rather hoping that when you’d seen what a ball was like you’d change your mind. After all, it was my first ball as well, and I loved it.”

Phoebe frowned, more than a little annoyed both by Mattie’s apparent disregard for the importance of her own feelings and this early intrusion into her morning. But then, Mattie didn’t know she’d only had a few hours’ sleep. Hardly any, in fact. “I know you did,” she said, unable to hide the hint of that annoyance in her voice. “But you have to accept that I didn’t. We are two different people and are bound to differ over things we like and dislike.”

Mattie sighed. “I should have known it was a faint hope that you might discover you like balls. But you do know, don’t you, that it’s the only way of finding a suitable husband? It’s the marriage mart. Mama might irritate us by going on and on about it, but she’s quite right. Everyone knows that if you want to make a good match, you have to go to balls and soirees and dinner parties and be seen. You can’t be seen by eligible gentlemen if you stay at home, nor if you hide in corners.” She frowned. “How many times did you dance? I was too busy with all the gentlemen who wished to dance with me to notice.”

Phoebe suppressed a sigh. It was a good thing she loved Mattie because her cousin could be most unfeeling on occasion.

Thoughts of the dancing she’d had to undergo brought a frown to her face. If she’d had a choice, the answer would have been zero, but Aunt Fanny had refused to allow her to slink into the shadows. Being a friend to most of the matriarchs of the ton had enabled her to introduce Phoebe to what had seemed like every available young gentleman of the ton, and some older ones too. “Too many times.” She couldn’t keep the gloom from her voice.

Mattie giggled. “My dance card was quite filled up. My feet are still aching this morning.” She eyed Phoebe sideways. “Although I daresay most of the gentlemen you danced with must have bruises on their feet.” Her blue eyes danced with amusement. As they’d learned to dance at the same time, they’d frequently partnered each other and Mattie had been the recipient of some of Phoebe’s worst toe trampling.

Phoebe allowed herself the hint of a smile. “Well, they deserve to have bruised toes. I didn’t want to dance with any of them, but your mama made me, and I don’t care one whit that I trod on their feet. Lots. I hope that means none of them will ever ask me to dance again.” Only she was thinking of one young gentleman with whom she would very much like to dance again and to whom she had done considerably more damage. Although he obviously wouldn’t be able to dance while he was incapacitated by his broken arm. And he would most likely never want to see her again, even though she’d handed him some of her jewels and escorted him to the care of a doctor.

“I dare say it won’t put them off,” Mattie said, oblivious to the thoughts running through her cousin’s head. “After all, you have half your grandfather’s fortune as a lure. Far more to offer than I have.” She giggled. “One could almost say that my face is my fortune. Not quite, as I do have what my papa was able to leave me. Nothing to compare with what you would bring to a marriage though. I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t get a few offers before long.”

Phoebe scowled. “I have no desire whatsoever to marry someone who thinks me desirable because of my fortune. That would be quite odious and distasteful to me.”

Mattie shrugged. “How are you going to be able to tell? I’m sure any gentleman intent on securing your fortune for himself would be bound to woo you with sweet words and make you believe he was in love with you. Men are not so sensible as we are, but they’re not stupid where money is concerned. I believe they can be quite duplicitous. My friend Antonia Fairbank told me that. Only she’s Viscountess Rochford now, and absolutely hates the man who persuaded her he loved her. It turns out he wasn’t fond of women at all, or so she says. I don’t quite understand that bit, but who cares. It just goes to show one should be wary when believing what a man says in order to persuade one into marriage.”

Phoebe, somewhat stunned by such a long speech, not to mention the revelation about poor Antonia Fairbank, whom she’d met, put her uneaten toast on her bedside table. “In that case I shan’t marry anyone.”

This made Mattie laugh. “You are such a goose sometimes. Of course you’ll marry someone. In the end, whether you intend to or not, you’ll fall in love, or Mama will arrange a suitable match for you that you’ll be pressured into accepting. She assures me that if you don’t love your husband at first, it will come with time. Although I’m not sure if she’s telling the truth, not when I think about Antonia. Although Mama did reveal to me that she didn’t love Papa when they were first married, but came around to it. Of course, he died when I was only two, so I can’t verify that.”

Phoebe folded her arms. “She can try to force me into marriage, but I won’t do it unless I’m sure of three things. Firstly that I’m not being married for my money, secondly that he loves me, and thirdly that I love him. Or maybe the last two the other way around.” It came to her in a sudden rush of realization that she would marry Gabriel even if he didn’t love her. Did that mean she was in love? With the Mayfair Highwayman himself? If Mattie even suspected this she would be astonished. She pressed her lips together for fear she might be tempted to reveal all.

Mattie shrugged. “In an ideal world.”