Page 32 of Wanted: Rogues and Bards

“What if one of us sneaks around to the front of the house and bashes him on the head? We just need to knock him out for a while. Mal said the spell has to run for only two more hours and everything will be good as new,” Rain said.

A scowl twisted up Fenric’s features as he stared at the daffy pirate. “Even if the place is fine when he wakes, he’s going to know who conked him. We’ll still be kicked out.”

“What if you distract him? Take him out for drinks until the spell is done working?” Malfas suggested. “You’re really good at being friendly and talking people down from doing silly things like evicting us. You could get on his good side, buy him a few drinks, remind him we’re good, rent-paying tenants who won’t cause any trouble.”

“Take him out for drinks?” Fenric repeated slowly, ignoring the fact he didn’t have a copper to spare on drinks. “At dawn?”

“Oh. That is a bit early for drinking. The taverns and pubs probably haven’t even opened their doors, and Mr. Roundbottom doesn’t strike me as the type to spend his entire day drinking.”

“Scoundrels! Villains!” their landlord continued to bellow.

“Come on, Mal! Don’t you have some kind of gentle knockout spell? Just let the man take a little nap without giving him a concussion.” The end of that might have been snarled in Rain’s direction, even though the pirate didn’t look the least bit remorseful.

“Well, maybe. But both you and Hapi said I was banned from using my grimoire after the mess I made with Puppy. Only mending spells allowed until the place is put to rights.”

Fenric opened his mouth to say right now was an obvious exception to his no-magic punishment, but the words got lodged in his throat as he watched the adorable puppy in question charge down the stairs and race to the front door with an eager grin.

“Don’t worry; I got it!”

The three of them lunged toward the doorway in unison, shouting “No!”

Unfortunately, it was already too late because Maxie turned the handle. Gideon Roundbottom—who actually lived up to his name by having a very large round bottom—charged into the house with a tomato-red face speckled with sweat and beady black eyes that missed nothing. He moved around the open downstairs, seething in near silence as he seemed to inspect everything. Broken furniture, fractured walls, scorched and carved up floors. And he hadn’t even made it to the bedrooms on the second floor yet to see the natural disasters that came from a bunch of men.

“Out! I want all of you out this very second!” he shouted.

“Wait! Don’t be hasty,” Fenric argued, rushing to his side. “We’ve already paid through the rest of the month, and the place is being fixed up as we speak. In less than two hours, it will look exactly as it did when we first arrived.”

“Yes!” Malfas joined in, thrusting one fist into the air. “The mending spell needs only another two hours and everything in the house will be all fixed up. You won’t be able to tell we had a series of explosions in here.”

Fenric glared at Malfas, wishing the warlock would just keep his mouth shut and quit “helping.” He was only making things worse. Fenric turned his attention back to Gideon and forced a placating smile. “Okay, so things are a bit of a mess right now, but we’re fixing everything. It’ll be fine.”

“It’s not fine!” Gideon’s entire body shook with his rage. More sweat streaked down the side of his face and he poked the center of Fenric’s chest with one sausage-like finger. “It’s not just about the broken furniture. It’s the constant chaos. The explosions. The horrific smells coming from here. The neighbors claim you’ve been keeping dead bodies in the backyard!” He shot his pointing finger toward the back of the house.

“That’s not true!”

Someone cleared their throat and Fenric snapped his head around to find Hapi leaning against the far wall near the stairs in his rumpled pants with embroidered skulls. He jerked his thumb toward Maxie, who was watching Gideon’s tirade with a look of guilt, fear, and panic filling his giant golden eyes. “Experiments.”

Oh. Shit. That was right.

“People have reported seeing skeletons running around the property.”

More Hapi.

“And!” Gideon’s voice rose to a crescendo. “I distinctly said no pets!”

“What? We do not possess a single pet,” Belstrom stated as he thundered down the stairs and came to a stop near Hapi.

“A black cat has been spotted coming and going from this house. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

And that would be Fenric’s fault. Fuck his life. Yeah, there were times he’d moved around outside the house in his cat form for the sake of ease, and he hadn’t been too careful about it. Who noticed a stray cat?

“That’s just a local stray,” Fenric argued. “It’s not like we’ve been feeding it or caring for it. You can’t hold us accountable for the strays in this backwater town.”

“I do! Out! All of you! I want you out in one hour.” Gideon turned on the balls of his feet and marched toward the front door.

“But you can’t! We’ve got nowhere else to go. The place is getting fixed up as we speak,” Fenric said, following right on his heels.

Gideon shoved his way past Rain while Malfas pulled Maxie out of the man’s way. The landlord jerked the front door open and allowed it to slam against the wall before spinning to look at all of them. “You have one hour. I’m going to get the town watch now. If you’re not gone when I get back, they’re going to throw you out.”