Page 2 of The Hard Launch

“Are you okay?” Glenn asks quietly. He looks worried, but then, he always looks worried. He’s the Head of Product here with a lot on his plate; twin toddlers at home, and a third baby due very, very soon.

“I’m fine,” I lie, because I don’t want to add to Glenn’s stress.

He takes his glasses off and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know you think you’re helping me, but it would be more beneficial for us to talk it through, instead of you going back to your desk and stewing in your juices,” he says. Glenn knows the best and worst of me, so there’s no point in hiding it.

“I’m not stewing. I’m rage-writing user stories.”

He laughs. “You did well up there. But you should push back when you don’t agree.”

“The whole room thought he was a genius! You were there, you saw it. I’m not going to fight with the CEO in front of the entire company.”

“But you already had that idea.”

“Believe me, I know. It’s a good idea, it’s just expensive at scale. All those queries aren’t free.”

Glenn leans back in his chair and puts his glasses back on. He’s the kindest, most even-keeled manager I’ve ever had, but I can tell he’s frustrated with me.

“It’s your job to communicate that, Lacey. It’s a tradeoff you correctly decided not to make. The free plan will be operating at a loss if we’re doing millions of queries for that user base. You can’t change things on a CEO’s whim and not tell him how it affects the bottom line.”

“So, about that,” I say, opening up my laptop. I show him what I’ve outlined: Jude’s suggested modal will appear for paid clients every time, but people on the free plan will get only chances to use it, along with a cute little button prompting them to upgrade to keep access. Somehow all that anger pushed me to find a way to make it work properly, instead of throwing money out the window. I can’t hide how pleased I am as I show the new solution to my boss.

“This is very clever,” Glenn says. “And it’s true product management. You’re not just hearing someone’s idea and doing it. You understood the problem he’s trying to solve, and you came up with the best possible solution. I’m impressed.”

He stands up, satisfied, and heads off to his next meeting.

I know I should be happy with the outcome. I’m not obsessed with taking credit for things, but I can’t help resenting that all my hard work is going to get wrapped up as Jude’s Amazing Idea. It almost makes me want it to fail.

“Coffee. Now.”

Dave raps his knuckles on my desk ten seconds after I send the new user story and its accompanying wireframes to him. He’s the lead engineer on my team, a stereotypical software developer down to the T-shirt he’s wearing, which features the elements that comprise the human body under the title IN MY ELEMENTS. Such a nerd.

“But I just sent you something,” I tell him.

“And I’m sure it’s brilliant. I’ll read it when we’re back from getting coffee.”

I exhale loudly through my nose, peeved.

“Dragon snort all you want, but we’re going,” he says, zipping up his company hoodie.

“Arguing about it will only delay the estimate,” Ingrid offers, appearing at his side. “That’s not what you want, is it?”

With even mild-mannered Ingrid against me, there’s no use in fighting it. We pick up Kate on our way to the elevator, and I try my hardest not to peek into Jude’s office when we walk past, but I do. He’s at his standing desk, scratching away at his neck. Ugh.

The second the doors slide shut, they immediately start bitching.

“What the actual fuck?” Dave asks.

“He’s such a prick,” Kate says.

“I just find it disheartening that he chose that forum to give that type of feedback,” Ingrid says, which is the closest she can come to bitching.

“You’re not saying anything,” Kate notes, squinting at me. “Are you okay?”

I sigh. I appreciate their support, but I almost don’t want to go down this rabbit hole at the moment. I’d rather be talking about how long it’s going to take to build out the new modal along with the permissions and upsell.

“I mean, none of you are wrong. But I’m trying to stay positive here. That stuff is part of the job.”

“Only when you work with assholes,” Dave insists.