Page 31 of The Hard Launch

“Oh, gosh. Not my intention,” I tell him. “I apologize. I’ve been so busy trying to hit that deadline that I suppose I could have communicated better. Always happy to make time for you both.”

I feel like such a loser spouting these blatant lies, and I know all of it is what Edmund wants. It’s not enough for him to take you down, he wants to see you do it to yourself.

“And therein lies the crux of the problem,” Edmund says with a smile, relaxing back into his chair. “Remember that video about the triangle I sent you, Jude?”

I nod.

“Let’s do a little refresher. Play it again for me here.”

I find the link, share my screen, and we watch the little cartoon about the Karpman Drama Triangle that we’ve talked about before, which is apparently the cause of all problems that exist at Lettercat and is a direct result of my leadership or lack thereof. Villain, Victim, Hero. I am always required to self-identify after a viewing.

“Hero,” I say when it ends.

I was the Victim the last two times, I am not sure this is progress.

But the lecture is different at least. I’m in the weeds, I’m told. True leaders do not go into the weeds and solve the problems, so how do I explain my current situation, where I’m spending my days writing code? How do I think the company is suffering from my lack of leadership? What is the opportunity cost of me behaving like an engineer instead of a CEO?

I don’t tell him that I’ve been forced to write code because of a possibly arbitrary deadline he gave me in order to continue funding the company; that’s a ticket to the Victim lecture. Instead I try to recast myself as a Warrior, because it’s good to be one of those. I assure him that I’ve got a great team with me, that I am being a Killer in the weeds as I lead my amazing team of warriors to a win.

I’m not sure if I’ve convinced him or confused him, but he seems to be considering this.

“It’s true that outside of you and Glenn, I don’t know too much about who you’ve got on board here.”

Then he says he looks forward to meeting this team of mine. He’s going to play nine this afternoon but will be happy to take us out for steaks tonight; it’ll give him a chance to get to know the team.

“Ahem,” Wally says. “Jude’s a vegetarian.”

“He’ll find something,” Edmund says, and he hangs up.

“Bro,” Trevor tells me. “We’re fuuuucked.”

“Conference room,” Lacey says. ‘Both of you. I’ll get Kate and be right there.”

I spent an hour in my office crashing out, reminding myself I couldn’t call Glenn to congratulate him and then shovel this new problem onto his doorstep. So I waited for the rest of his team to arrive, and walked over to their pod to casually let them know they’d be having dinner with me and Edmund tonight. I thought maybe they’d take it in stride and prove to me that it was nothing to be concerned about.

This is distinctly not the case.

“I’m supposed to go to the game tonight, bro,” Trevor is telling me. I’m debating just letting him go, unsure what a conversation between him and Edmund would be like.

“The fuck you are,” Kate tells him, sitting down. “You’re coming to dinner and you’re going to speak like the educated adult you are.”

Trevor blinks but doesn’t disagree.

Lacey snorts from the whiteboard, where she’s drawn a three-column table in the corner. The headings of which are +, ?, and -. I’m about to ask what she’s doing when she writes Trevor’s name down in the ? column. I’m assuming this isn’t about attendance.

“Kate, you’re good, I’m good. Jude, I’m putting you as good because you kind of better be.”

“Can we get Amber?” Trevor asks. “She’s smart.”

“I already messaged her, she’s going to do her best to make it.” I say.

“What about Rob in sales?” Kate asks. “He has an MBA.”

“MBAs are a waste of money,” Trevor tells her. “You learn more in one month of starting an actual business than in two years of business school.”

“Someone’s defensive,” Kate says under her breath.

“You’re going to join Trevor in the questionable column, Kate, if you can’t stop sniping at him.” Lacey says, adding Rob to the ? list.