Page 70 of The Hard Launch

“Should we listen to your voice memo next?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“Not yet.”

I know she’s worried that the release of the Roar code might get her offer pulled. I’m going to take sole responsibility with Edmund, but it’s hard to know what he’ll do with all of this rage. I also know that she doesn’t want to accept, that she’s hoping there’s a way forward for Lettercat without Corday Ford. And without me. I’d honestly be okay with that; she loves it more than I do.

When we get to the office, we do a dumb thing where she takes the elevator and I take the stairs, just in case anyone’s paying attention to our arrival times in the midst of the shitstorm I’ve created at Lettercat.

For the first time in a week, people say good morning to me. Dave brought muffins. Jonnie likes my haircut.

I put the muffin down on my desk and I call Edmund, proving to myself that I’m not avoiding him. I’m just establishing boundaries; going forward, I work when I’m at work. I’m still relieved when it goes straight to voicemail.

I join the engineers in Gutenberg for the daily standup, and I linger afterward, trying to get a better handle on the performance issue that’s still making the platform less than optimal. When Glenn walks into the conference room, I’m standing behind Lacey, looking over her shoulder at her laptop, my hand on the back of her chair. All of it a shade too close, too familiar, and I see him notice. He looked worried to start, and now I’ve only made it worse.

“My office?” I ask.

“Sure,” he says.

I explain to him on the way that I’m aware how selfish my decision yesterday seems. And is, in some ways. There was real money on the table that might not be there at the end of today. Lacey’s offer might disappear; Glenn’s reputation could be harmed.

But I tell him Corday Ford’s plan to eliminate all direct customers, and the teams who support them.

“You say they were going to rip the heart out, so you decided to shoot it in the head?” he asks.

Piracy sounds less cool when it’s phrased like that.

“It’s a calculated risk. And I’m fully aware that as soon as Edmund gets a quorum together, I’m out.”

We sit down on the couch in my office.

“And was Lacey a calculated risk too?” he asks.

“That’s not an abuse of power. I care about her. A lot.”

He studies me for a moment. “Then did you think about what it looks like for her? How people could take everything she’s achieved here and write it all off because the CEO’s in love with her?”

There’s nothing for me to do but blink, because I haven’t thought of that.

“I know you didn’t have bad intentions,” he says, but I know intentions don’t count. Lacey’s brilliant. The idea that someone could write off her success because of me feels ten times worse than disappointing Glenn.

“This is all leading in the same direction. I fucked up a million different ways. I’m good at building things, but I’m not built for running a company. I’m going to be done here today, and as bad as that feels, it’s also a relief.”

Glenn puts his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t count yourself out,” he says. “Learn as much as you can from this, and take it to the next company you start.”

I shake my head, but Glenn doesn’t see. He’s too busy wheeling the whiteboard over, discussing strategy for my conversation with Edmund and the board. Do I step down voluntarily, do I let them force me out, let’s take one last, dying look at the cap table. But it’s okay. I appreciate the soft landing Glenn is trying to give me.

We’ve decided the best course of action is me stepping down—in hopes that it will keep Corday Ford from suing Lettercat—when Lacey and Trevor come bounding into my office.

“Sorry to interrupt, but it’s urgent. I think,” Lacey says.

“It’s urgent,” Trevor confirms. “Play it.”

She holds out her phone and plays a long, meandering voice memo from the two co-founders who want to bring her on as Head of Product. They talk about how great she is, about how excited they both are about the energy she’d bring to their company, how they want to do a retreat in San Diego or maybe Sedona, yes, Sedona! They love it there, definitely Sedona, plus last time they were in San Diego… And then something about Edmund, something about an airline, then something about her calling them after she’s had a chance to review.

Throughout it, I focused on how impressed they are with Lacey, which makes me happy. I know she’s resisting—and they do seem flakey—but maybe she should give it a shot over there. She’ll do amazing wherever she lands, but I hate that she needs a clean slate as a result of my poor decisions. It’s unfair.

She and Trevor are staring at me like they’re holding a smoking gun while I’m lost in thought; I don’t understand.

“Play that last bit again?” Glenn requests.