Page 78 of Rachel’s Pudding Pantry

Chapter 32

TO KISS OR NOT TO KISS

The next day, Rachel was chatting to Eve on the mobile as she did her early evening rounds of the sheep and cattle.

‘How’s Moss, Rach? I saw your mum in the lane earlier and she told me all about it. Poor thing, and what a shock it must have been for you, too.’

‘He’s doing good now, thanks. I picked him up first thing this morning and he’s just taking it steady, lying in his kennel today. Probably still a bit sore, but he’s fine.’

‘That’s good. And it sounds like Tom did well, spotting what had happened.’

‘Yes …’ Tom … A million crazy thoughts had been whirling around in her head all night, thinking about their near-miss kiss. Should she have gone with the moment, let it happen? Found out what it felt like to taste his lips on hers?

‘Rach … are you still there? Are you okay?’

‘We nearly kissed last night,’ she blurted. It suddenly all spilled out.

‘Who?’

‘Me and Tom,’ Rachel confessed.

‘Wow, and you stopped it … you crazy woman. Right, well you need to come around and tell me all about it. I didn’t even think you fancied him.’

‘I didn’t … I don’t … Oh, I don’t know … It’s just kind of crept up on me.’

‘Hah, you’re finally seeing what we’ve all known for ages, how bloody gorgeous he is.’

‘Oh Eve, I really need to chat about it, it’s all so confusing. In confidence, of course,’ Rachel said seriously. She really didn’t want to get this wrong, a bit of friendly advice wouldn’t go amiss.

‘Of course, my love. Why don’t you come around this evening for an hour or so?’

‘That sounds good, I’ll check if Mum can look after Maisy, but I don’t think she had any plans for tonight.’

Rachel and Eve were sitting in Eve’s back garden with a bottle of rosé between them under a pinky-orange sky that was deepening into dusk. It was a beautifully calm summer’s evening and still warm. Ben was out for the evening and Amelia was tucked up in bed.

‘So, Rachel, you dark horse you, you need to tell me all about it. How on earth have you been nearly kissing my all-time favourite crush?’

‘Well I’d obviously been upset about Moss, and he’d helped, and I was there at his place having a coffee … look, I really don’t know. He gave me a hug goodbye and suddenly it just felt like it should be so much more than a hug.’

‘Doesn’t sound like a big problem to me. If you both like each other, that is.’

‘Yeah, but what if we had gone ahead and kissed, and then it ruined it all? What if he’s not quite feeling the same way, or maybe it’ll seem great for us both at the start but then it all falls down within a few weeks’ time … and then it’ll just be too hard to be friends any more?’ It had all been racing through her mind. ‘Since everything with Dad, Tom’s been such a constant, Eve. He’s always there if there’s a problem or if there’s any help needed on the farm.’

‘Isn’t that a good thing, Rach?’

‘Yes, and that’s just it, if we let it get personal and it all went wrong, we could wreck all that.’

‘Why do you think he does all that for you, Rach?’ Eve’s voice was gentle, understanding. ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you lately.’

‘What way?’

‘Just kind of intently, and caring …’

‘Well, we are good friends.’ Rachel batted down the suggestion that he might be feeling this too and sipped her wine.

‘I think it’s so much more than that and you’re both too frightened to admit it.’ Eve looked right at her. ‘So, are you going to miss out on the chance of something special just because you’re afraid?’

Was that it?After her messed-up relationship with Jake who just left at the first hurdle, after what had happened to her father? Too many men had left her life already. Was she afraid of losing another?