Page 89 of Rachel’s Pudding Pantry

Chapter 36

DON’T GO BREAKING MY HEART

Rachel woke. Dark brown hair was splayed out on the pillow beside her in short bed-head tufts. The lashes were thick on his closed eyelids. The curve of his top lip defined – it was crazy to think she could kiss those lips again if she wanted.

So, it was real. Not a dream. Tom Watson was lying in bed beside her, and she felt all warm and fuzzy about that.

He stirred, cuddled her closer, then opened one eye, as if checking exactly the same thing himself.

‘Morning,’ he said with a smile.

‘Hi … hello you.’ Rachel grinned.

‘You okay?’

‘Yes, very cosy in fact.’ It felt warm and safe here in Tom’s bed. She had slept so well – hah, no doubt something to do with all that energetic sex. It had been so, so long since she’d woken up in someone’s arms, and it was rather special.

‘I’ll fetch us a cup of tea then, shall I? Bring it back to bed?’ Tom offered.

‘In a minute …’ There was no rush. A glance at her watch told Rachel that it was only ten to seven. Her farm chores could wait just a little longer.

They made slow, like-there-was-no-need-to-get-out-of-bed-yet, morning love. Rachel was worried her breath might be fusty, but it didn’t seem to put Tom off at all. His kisses were warm and tender.

Lying back on the pillows, Tom said, ‘I can still hardly believe this … us.’

‘Yes, I know. It’s rather wonderful, isn’t it.’ She still felt like the farm cat, who’d now just eaten three bowls of cream.

Tom gently pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen across her face. ‘I watched you grow up. We were just kids back then. Then you turned into this amazing young woman.’

‘Aw … Hah, remember that day when you let me climb up into the tractor when you were ploughing? I begged you to let me drive.’

‘Yes, you were only six or something. You were quite determined back then too.’ He raised his eyebrows.

‘Anyway, you let me sit on your lap just for a minute or so and steer. I loved that.’

‘Yeah, and both our dads would have killed us, if they’d seen.’

‘Definitely … oh …’ she sighed at the mention of her dad. Their shared past entwined with so much pain as well as joy. ‘Dad.’

‘You’ve been so strong, Rachel. Keeping everything together on the farm. Being brave enough to try this new pudding venture. But you don’t have to hold it all in, you know. I know the pressures, I know what you’ve all been through too …’

‘Thanks.’ She’d been so used to keeping it all to herself and, well, just getting on with life, it wasn’t going to be shared lightly. But it was lovely that Tom wanted to give that support.

‘Your dad …’ Tom was looking up at the ceiling now as he remembered. ‘He spoke with me the night before he died.’

‘He did?’ Rachel flashed her face towards him. He’d never mentioned this before. ‘What did he say?’

‘Oh, that it was getting to him, trying to keep the farm going, the pressures we were all under these days. That there were some problems. He didn’t seem to want to elaborate, it was over in a minute. It was just a comment, you know, farmer to farmer.’

‘You saw him … the day before? You knew something and you said nothing. You didn’t think to warn me and Mum …?’

‘It was just a normal conversation, Rach. There really didn’t seem anything to warn you about. He seemed fed up, maybe a bit down. But nothing at all that made me think that … God, I mean, if I’d had even an inkling …’ the words trailed, he paused. ‘Well, we were chatting in confidence, farmer to farmer, that was all.’

‘Oh, my God, Tom. Maybe it was a cry for help? Did you not think to consider that?’

‘Yes, of course I did, in hindsight. But at the time, no, I’d have never imagined …’

‘Jeez Tom, if you’d only said … thought to warn us, it might have changed something … it might have changed everything.’ Rachel was struggling to comprehend all this. The massive implications. She lay back on the pillows beside Tom, as a huge tear welled in her eye.