Page 73 of Christmas at Rachel’s Pudding Pantry

Rachel jumped on the quad, enjoying the cold wind racing through her hair as she raced around to Tom’s farm, excitement and a little anxiety mounting inside. She was determined to find out the truth about Caitlin. Surely there was bound to be some simple explanation? And then they could put it behind them and look forward to a slightly less hectic time after Christmas. She prayed that would be the case.

When she arrived, Rachel knocked, waited a few seconds and then let herself in when there was no greeting at the door. ‘Hi Tom, it’s just me,’ she called.

There he was, on his mobile, pacing the kitchen, his voice strained and raised. ‘I don’t see the point in all this. Not now!’ He glanced up and spotted Rachel then. ‘This really isn’t a good time,’ she heard him say and it was like a rerun of the call he had taken in the hospital grounds. He looked irked. Should she go? Perhaps this wasn’t the best time to visit after all. But she’d been so looking forward to seeing him, and clearing the air.

Rachel managed to catch his eye, and mouthed, ‘I’ll just …’ as she gestured towards the hallway, heading through to the living room to give him a bit of space.

Who was that? Could it be the same person who’d been bothering him at the hospital that day? Was there something up? Tom was rarely riled. He coped with all sorts on the farm, and in all the years she’d known him, Rachel had never seen him particularly wound up about anything. He just got on and dealt with things, calmly, that was one of the things she admired most about him.

A few minutes later he came to find her in the lounge.

‘Sorry about that.’ His jaw was still tight. He seemed tense, frustrated.

‘Everything okay?’ she asked cautiously.

‘Ah, it’s nothing.’

‘Tom, whatever it is, it’s not nothing. Something’s bothering you. Can I help? Tell me about it. I feel like you’re keeping something from me.’

He shot her a dark look. ‘Just leave it, Rach.’

Rachel knew when to back off. But whatever was behind this, it felt all wrong. The room filled with tension. Her old fears were resurfacing.

‘Glass of wine?’ he offered.

She stood silent, unsure whether to leave or stay put. Finally she acquiesced. ‘Okay.’

He went off, back to the kitchen, where he poured two glasses of red. Rachel followed him through, not knowing how to handle things. He passed her a glass and took the biggest glug from his.

‘So, what’s been happening with you?’ he asked, obviously deflecting.

‘Ah, pretty hectic. It’s been full-on at the Pantry, making a mountain of Christmas puddings – honestly, all I can smell is whisky and bloody orange. Oh, and I called in to see Ruth earlier too, who thankfully is on the mend, though it seems to be a slow job. It’s like I’m nurse, nanny, chef, cattle and sheep handler, all rolled into one.’ She chuckled, trying to break the layer of tension.

Rachel took a stool at the island unit, her feet throbbing after yet another day on them. She shouldn’t complain; the cash till was full, and the bank balance finally looking creditable. Financially, they were on their way back up, but physically, boy, was she knackered. And what with the Mum/Daniel scenario and now all this with Tom … well, her emotions were frankly all over the place. Even after just two sips of wine, she felt like she could sleep for a week.

‘I’m glad to hear Ruth’s on the mend.’

‘Yes, she’s coming on pretty well. They did say it’d take a while, having pneumonia at her age, but her cough is way better. She’s just a bit weak still, but she’s back pottering about at home. She was baking goodies for the church Christmas fete when I called in earlier.’

‘Sounds like you can’t keep her down. But that’s probably a good thing.’

‘Yes.’

The conversation was polite, too polite. It was as though they were skirting around something much bigger. There was definitely an elephant in the room, one they were both afraid of approaching.

‘And Maisy, well, she’s a whirlwind of Christmas excitement,’ Rachel continued.

‘Hah, I bet.’

‘So, there’s just over a week to go until the Big Day and I can’t wait to just stop, close up the Pantry and stay home for a few days. That’ll be bliss.’

‘Aren’t you doing a big Christmas dinner for everyone, though? It’s hardly as if you’ll be putting your feet up.’

‘Yes, but it’s family and friends, and we’ll all muck in. There’s no real pressure with that. You are still coming, aren’t you?’ The unsaid was that something had changed between them, that he might have changed his mind.

‘Ah … yes, of course …’ He didn’t actually sound that sure. ‘Just one sec, if you’ll excuse me a minute … I really need the bathroom,’ he explained as he walked out of the room.

Damn, she’d just been about to start her apology, promise she’d find more time for them to be together. Rachel took another sip of the mellow wine. She’d talk about it when he came back through. He seemed to have calmed down a bit now so perhaps they might have a nice hour or two together, after all.