Page 48 of The Second Chance Supper Club

‘Don’t, please don’t answer, not yet. Not in haste. Give yourself a few days to think about it, at least. Talk to Adam … It’s about all of us.’ He knew her weak spot. Her family back together.

‘Okay, I’ll think about it.’

‘Thank you.’

So much for a few minutes’ peace. Wow, her head was aching already.

With her mind in a spin, Cath glanced out at the back garden. Uh-oh, the weeds were enjoying the fine weather as well as the plants, and were unfortunately beginning to run riot in the borders. What would old Reggie think of that? Her pledge to keep the garden tidy already having been overrun by a twenty-two-year-old turning up on her, and her husband’s confusing relationship U-turn. Well, that was it, she’d go get her garden fork and sort out the pesky weeds. That, at least, was something she could control.

And, yes, her lodger son could start doing his bit to earn his keep by cutting the grass. She’d let him have a short break after getting back from today’s cycle ride, but the second-hand petrol push mower she’d recently invested in, would be ready and waiting for him. After all, that’s the least he could do, now it looked as though he was intending on staying around. Oh, yes, the ‘new rules’ were coming in to play.

With her old trainers on, and large garden fork to hand, she started on the bed around Reggie’s sage and rosemary plants. Turning over the rich, brown earth and pulling out rogue grass and strands of ‘sticky willy’ (she wasn’t sure of its real name but that’s always what her dad had called it) from the border. Other plants were appearing now, pushing up from their earthen beds, with leaves unfurling bold and green, some coming into bloom. Tall heads of purple and yellow lupins, bursts of white and pale-pink delicate flowers looking like confetti on a couple of the shrubs. A brown and grey chaffinch perched on a nearby bush watching her, cocking its head as though curious. Who was this in the garden here now?

Above her, a dart of white with navy-black wings, as a pair of house martins whizzed by. Or might it in fact have been the first of the summer swallows? Cath used to like watching the birds on her childhood holidays, her father telling her all the names.

Tidying the borders helped calm her, her mind now busy on the task in hand. The sounds – a bee buzzing, the chitter of sparrows – and the floral and grassy earthen scents of nature all around her. The sun warm on her back, and her legs – which were bare below long denim shorts – feeling the balmy breeze on her skin. The garden was beginning to look better already. And it felt good trying to keep her pledge to Reggie – even though he hadn’t ever known it.

An impromptu invite dropped into her messages the following day:

Forecast’s looking good for the weekend. Who’s up for a Supper Club picnic? 12 noon Sunday at Bamburgh Beach. Love Andreas and Dan xx

Ah yes! The timing was brilliant, just what she needed to take her mind off things, and the chance to chillax again with her friends was most welcome.

Cath was straight back with: Yes, please! Count me in. And let me know if I can bring anything? Happy to help with some picnic goodies xx

And she knew there was another call to respond to, another decision to finalise. And this one certainly wouldn’t be as easy. Trevor’s offer still needed to be answered, and tonight was the night Cath had decided to phone him back. It was Thursday, she’d had a couple of days to think since her exhusband’s call, and had been going over all the scenarios. The ‘What Ifs’, the ‘Might Have Beens’ and the ‘What Nexts’ had been constantly shifting in her mind. It hadn’t been easy. She needed to get this right, for all their sakes.

She had spoken with Adam last night, telling him of his dad’s latest proposals, and mother and son had had a good chat together. After all, Adam had seen more than most, back then, about what had really been going on at home. She’d wanted to give him the chance to voice his thoughts. Despite the teenage-style house mess on his recent arrival, she could tell that her son had actually grown up a lot these past couple of years. The time away on his travels might have helped him to see the bigger picture, too.

His own hurts were evident, however, as he admitted, ‘It’s been hard for me too, Mum. It was tough being away, wondering what the hell was going on back home … and then when Dad told me the house had bloody well sold, and there was no home any more…’ Adam had sounded kind of lost then.

It was upsetting for Cath to see him so down, that rawness revealed. It was the whole family that had been ripped apart … not just her and Trevor. She’d never felt it was that simple, but hearing it from Adam himself, and that he hadn’t felt able to share this before, made her feel so terribly sad.

Once that confession was out, however, they’d opened up some more, and he’d looked on the whole situation with a big pinch of reality. Though the outcome would affect him majorly either way, in the end, Adam agreed that the only decision to be made was hers. He wanted his mum to be happy.

Now, she needed that honest talk with her husband. After getting through that – with a large glass of something to hand – and finally settling on her plans for the future, it would be great to have something sociable with her village friends to look forward to this weekend.

Time to make that call. Adam was in the house, so she took her phone plus a large gin and tonic up to the summerhouse shed. The chance to go back … be a family, was still in her mind. Her decision would affect them all. It wasn’t one to take lightly, but she knew in her heart it was the right one.

This seemed the perfect spot to break the news. The place she’d spent so long doing up. It symbolised her new start, and had nurtured new friendships. All this was far too precious to let go. But would Trevor be staying here with her for holidays from now on, or was it hers and hers alone?

The dialling tone; ringing once, twice … big sip of gin … three times, and then it was picked up.

‘Hello, there. Hi, Cath.’ Trev sounded chirpy.

‘Hi …’ Her voice came out higher than normal. This was harder than she’d imagined. She knew what it felt like to have all your hopes and dreams trashed, after all. And this was yet another reason why the answer was so clear.

‘Good to hear from you. You okay?’

‘Yes … thank you. Trevor, I’ve had a chance to think.’ She had to get this over with. Now was not the time for chit-chat and pleasantries. ‘Trev, I’d love to have been able to make things right, to go back to how we once were … but that’s just a pipe dream. It won’t ever be the same. For me, at least, it won’t ever feel right. You’ve changed, and so have I. I like my new life and my new home. I’m ready for a fresh start, on my own.’ She let the words sink in. There was silence down the line. ‘I’m sorry if hearing that hurts but …’ She stopped herself from saying more. Don’t rub it in … don’t say you did that to me and far more. Revenge wasn’t always so sweet, though it was damn tempting. ‘But, hey …’ her voice softened, ‘Trev, this is where we stop hurting each other from now on. This is where we move on.’

‘Oh … ri-ight.’

She could tell he was struggling to speak, and she wasn’t sure what else to say either. A few seconds of uneasy silence widened the gap between them.

‘It was worth a try, I suppose,’ he said after a while, trying to sound matter-of-fact but his tone was anything but. ‘Better than to regret never having asked at all.’ He took a slow breath. ‘And Cath, whatever happens from here on, I will always be here for you and Adam. It’s what you’ve always deserved.’

Whoa. This was harder than she’d expected. ‘Thank you.’ And despite knowing she’d done exactly the right thing, Cath still felt the weight of mixed emotions, a gutful of relief at having been honest, laced with guilt and nostalgia, but no regrets … not now.