Page 34 of Christmas, Actually

Liam reached out and took Clara’s hand, pressed it between his – mimicking what she’d been doing only moments earlier – before guiding it to his lips.

As kisses went, it was chaste – something you might offer your grandmother. But it didn’t feel chaste and the heat in Liam’s eyes made her think of crumpled sheets and tangled limbs, of being naked and connected. Of the million things she was suddenly aching to have.

Flames licked at her insides, and she could almost feel the flow of her blood as it pumped faster, making goosebumps rise. She began to lean forward as Liam did the same, so when their lips met in the middle, they’d covered the same distance, proving he wanted this as much as her.

Clara had kissed Liam before – when she’d been helping him avoid a conversation with his brother, a conversation he clearly needed to have. But that had been born of necessity, of a wish to protect. This was different – because there was no one to avoid, no distractions required.

Liam’s lips felt warm and soft – that was the first thing Clara thought – and they fit perfectly on hers like they’d been designed, measured and cut for this exact purpose. Clara eased forward on the sofa until their knees pressed more firmly against each other. Then she hesitated. She wanted to climb onto his lap, wanted to crush her body to his until he begged, but something was stopping her.

She was used to holding back, used to waiting until the perfect moment, or until someone told her exactly what they wanted. She was so adept at sliding into whichever slot had been left open, at being agreeable and following whichever path had been chosen for her. Which had made it harder to work out what she wanted and who she even was.

But the wild rush of blood, the temperature of her limbs, the way every molecule of her body had begun to tremble with need was telling her this was her moment. It was time she stopped holding back, time she stopped waiting for someone else to make the decision. It was time to grab Liam and hold on.

So she deepened the kiss, pressing her mouth closer to Liam’s and he ran with it by reaching up and angling her head. But it wasn’t enough, so she got up and clumsily climbed onto his lap, then pressed him into the sofa straddling his hips. All the while she kissed him, unwilling to break the connection.

If Liam was surprised, he didn’t show it; he didn’t push Clara away or insist that they change position or slow down. He didn’t tell her she was being too forward, or aggressive or what she was doing was wrong.

Instead, she heard his sharp intake of breath as she slowly slid her fingertips into his hair, and pressed her centre into the hard bulge of his jeans. God, he felt good. All solid lines and firm muscles, all power with a generous dollop of gentleness stirred in.

Liam must have liked the new position because he seemed to relax and his fingers began to explore, stroking their way up her legs which were encased in red tights and pushing her Mrs Christmas dress upwards until it was bunched around her hips.

She was still fully clothed, but this felt sensual, like Liam was slowly unwrapping her, like it was Christmas morning and he was desperate to discover what he’d got. His hands continued to explore, working their way around to her backside and she found herself rocking gently, felt a rough hum working its way up her throat.

Liam groaned and Clara guided her hands lower, sliding them over his large shoulders, along the tense muscles of his chest, dropping them lower still so she could grab the bottom of his T-shirt. She gripped it between her fingertips and then eased it up.

She was still kissing Liam, still had her eyes shut and wished she could pull back for a beat so she could look at him, only she didn’t want to lose the connection. She could feel the raw magic of this moment weaving between them and didn’t want to risk breaking the spell in case he backed off. So she rocked her hips back an inch so there was room for her to slide her fingers into the gap and slowly explored the hard muscles of his stomach, dipping her fingertips to the top of his jeans and smiling when his body shuddered. He broke off the kiss so he could stare into her face. His eyes were dark pools of fire and need and she wondered if her expression mirrored his.

‘You want to do this?’ he asked huskily, dipping his eyes downwards to where their bodies were pressed together to illustrate what he meant. She nodded jerkily, feeling her insides shimmer. She was nervous, terrified even, but that wasn’t going to stop her today.

Clara was about to say, if you do, but stopped herself just in time. It was obvious what Liam wanted and he was in control of what he did next. If he didn’t want it to happen, he’d let her down gently. Liam wasn’t a man looking to hurt her feelings, but the way he was looking at her now told her everything she needed to know.

‘Yes,’ she said, hissing the word between her teeth, feeling the vibrations on her tongue which matched the ones running up and down her collarbone and breasts before moving lower to where their bodies were still meshed. God, she ached for him, had never wanted anyone so badly.

Not Hudson, and definitely not the ones who’d come before. This wasn’t about time, or how well you knew someone, this wasn’t about who your mother approved of, or about finding your supposed ideal match. This was about who felt right – who fit you best.

Liam nodded, his lips curving momentarily before he leaned forward and kissed her again. More resolutely this time as if he couldn’t – or didn’t want to – hold back. Clara leaned into him and felt his hands skim their way to the fastening on her dress, felt the slide of the zip and cool air as it hit her back. Then Liam was pulling the top from her shoulders, sliding it over her arms until the whole thing was bunched around her waist and she was wearing nothing but a bra on her top half.

She felt a little cold – the fire Liam had lit earlier was obviously beginning to go out. She shivered and deepened the kiss to show him she didn’t want them to stop. Instead, she found the bottom of his T-shirt again and tugged it upwards, breaking off the kiss so she could pull the whole thing up and over his head. Then she stared at him. At the perfection of his muscular chest, the light dusting of hair across his torso, the angles and planes of his muscles. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on the man and Clara had a sudden urge to hop off his lap so she could run her tongue over his skin to see if he tasted as good as he looked. Before she did, she spotted a small tattoo on his right shoulder, some numbers. ‘What’s that?’ she rasped.

‘It’s the date Charlie was born,’ he said roughly. ‘I wanted to keep him close in some small way even when he wasn’t.’ His cheeks flushed.

Clara cleared her throat, charmed by that. Charmed by him. It was like unwrapping something and finding out you wanted to keep unwrapping it until you got to the very core of the gift. ‘That’s…’ She gulped trying to find the words to explain how touching she found it. ‘Lovely,’ she finished, settling on that even though it was inadequate.

The flames of red on Liam’s cheeks spread and he dropped his eyes.

‘Don’t be embarrassed,’ she murmured, cupping his jaw and tipping it so she could stare into his face. ‘I think it’s wonderful. The way you are with Charlie, how much he means to you, what an amazing dad you clearly are. It makes me think—’ She stopped because she was about to tell him he’d be easy to fall in love with and she wasn’t about to articulate that. It was way too soon, she’d be back in New York before the end of the month, had no idea where her life would take her next and she didn’t want him to run screaming from the house.

‘What?’ he asked, pressing his forehead to hers and rocking his hips upwards making her insides melt.

She groaned. ‘God. That’s just mean,’ she rasped, shutting her eyes as he did it again.

‘Tell me,’ he whispered, peppering soft kisses on her cheeks and around her mouth making her skin tingle and fizz.

‘Nope.’ She took control – because she wasn’t going to admit how she was feeling. Didn’t want to spoil this moment with too much truth. She knew she could be too romantic, and Hudson had once called her needy. So she kissed Liam, deepening the connection as she searched for his belt and undid it, working on the button of his jeans, while he stroked his hands up and down her legs until she was writhing and desperate.

‘We’re going to have to stand up,’ he said, breaking off their kiss. ‘I might be good with my hands, but even I can’t undress you and myself while we’re in this position.’

She smiled before shifting off his lap and tugging him down on top of her. The sofa was lumpy but oddly comfortable and large enough to accommodate them – especially when he was straddling her, which he was doing now. He looked down and his dark eyes slowly skimmed her collarbone, bra and stomach. Clara fought the desire to cover herself and, instead, lay there and studied him before she couldn’t wait any longer and she propped herself on one elbow so she could undo the zip of his jeans. While she was there, Liam got rid of her bra and stood so he could lean down and skim his lips over her breasts.