Page 54 of Christmas, Actually

‘Is that you, Clara?’ Hudson picked up on the sixth ring. ‘I hope you’re calling to say you’re on your way home?’ he asked brusquely.

‘I’m about to arrive at Heathrow airport. I’ll be in New York late this afternoon,’ she said, trying to inject her voice with excitement.

‘That’s great! You’ll be here in plenty of time for the party,’ Hudson said, sounding relieved. ‘Are you wearing my ring?’ he checked.

Clara tried not to be irked by the assumption she’d so easily forgive and forget the kiss with Abigail. Her engagement ring was in her bag. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to wear it, but would in time. ‘Not yet. Shall I text you the flight details so you can pick me up?’

‘Sorry, Clara, it’s a bit short notice and I have a lot of work on today. It’ll be easier for me if you catch a cab. Is that okay?’

Clara frowned. ‘Sure. No problem,’ she said, pushing away the fantasy of him greeting her at the arrivals gate. Of him sweeping her into his arms… He was busy. She could be understanding. It was fine.

‘Would you mind stopping to pick up some dinner for yourself on the way, we’ve not even got milk in at home?’

‘Sure,’ Clara repeated. ‘Or we could go out?’ she suggested. ‘Celebrate me coming back.’

There was a pause. ‘Sorry, Clara. I’ve promised Mum I’ll eat with her tonight. You know how she likes to spend time with me one-on-one. She’ll be upset if I cancel. But we could go out tomorrow? I could book somewhere nice.’

‘Right.’ Clara worried her lip. She had to start standing up for herself if this relationship was going to work. ‘I’m sure your mother wouldn’t mind if you asked if I could come too.’ She and Hudson were probably going to get married at some point. Surely his mother would want to get to know her almost daughter-in-law?

There was a longer pause and Clara felt her cheeks burn.

‘Let’s talk about this when I get back from dinner,’ Hudson said smoothly. ‘I’ll talk to Mother about organising a date with both of us in the next few months.’

The taxi slowed, heading towards one of the drop-off bays and Clara stared at the families and couples milling around the pavement laughing and hugging and her eyes filled.

What was she doing? Going back to a man who wasn’t eager to see her after all this time. Someone who’d flown halfway across the world to convince her to return, but couldn’t bring himself to step away from his desk to pick her up from the airport. Or allow her to join a meal with his mum. She shook her head. Why was she continuing to chase a life she didn’t want? Listening to her mother’s words and believing everyone. Wasn’t it time to choose herself and risk being alone?

‘I’m so sorry, Hudson,’ Clara found herself saying. ‘I think I might have made a mistake. I don’t think I want this, after all. I’ll find somewhere else to stay tonight. I’ll see you in the office tomorrow. We’ll talk about my job and –’ She sighed. ‘– what happens next.’

‘What do you mean, what happens next?’ he squeaked. ‘You said you were coming back.’

‘I’m sorry, Hudson, I just don’t think that you and I are going to work out, after all,’ Clara said.

‘Stop being dramatic, I’ll see you at home,’ Hudson bit back, then the line went silent, indicating her ex-fiancé had just hung up.

There was a long queue at the check-in desk and Clara slowly pulled her suitcase towards the end of it. Once she got through security, she’d book a hotel in New York before deciding where she was going to live long term.

Moving back to England, staying with Eleanor in Hollythorpe, wasn’t an option. She couldn’t stand the idea of bumping into Liam and Charlie on a regular basis. A new start was the only way to go.

Clara heard a sudden charge of footsteps and her stomach contracted. Curious, she turned just as a woman dove into the arms of a man who seconds earlier had been flipping through his phone. His face lit up as he looked into the woman’s eyes and they smothered each other in eager kisses. Clara gulped, fighting a wave of longing.

Then she turned and continued to walk in the direction of the queue. That’s what she wanted. A love that powerful, where you weren’t afraid to be with the person you loved and craved each other’s company. And she was going to hold out for that this time, because being alone was better than the alternative.

‘Stop!’ A voice suddenly bellowed from somewhere in the airport and Clara felt her breath catch when she thought she recognised the voice. But she didn’t turn because she knew it couldn’t be Liam. He didn’t want her in his life, he’d made that perfectly clear.

‘Clara, don’t leave!’ the voice roared again, more urgently this time and she froze. Was it him? He sounded the same, but she didn’t trust herself.

She was almost too afraid to check – but her body swung around before she could stop it and her eyes focused on the crowd. She hungrily scoured the terminal, picking through people pulling colourful suitcases dressed in jolly Christmas scarves and hats. Then her whole body went hot as she saw Liam.

He was running and frantically waving as people began to part, creating a pathway that led directly to her. Clara couldn’t move. She stood immobile, her body trembling as she watched him speed up until he was almost sprinting. His hair was mussed, his cheeks red and he’d never looked more wonderful.

‘Clara,’ Liam sighed as he skidded to a stop in front of her breathing hard. ‘I thought I wouldn’t make it.’

‘Am I dreaming?’ She blinked, but he didn’t disappear.

‘No.’ His mouth tipped and he let out a long puff, his breath still heavy from the run. ‘I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay in Hollythorpe,’ he said urgently. ‘I’ve been an idiot. You were right – everyone was right. I was afraid of getting hurt – it wasn’t just about Charlie. I spoke to Graham, I’m done with being stuck and too scared to move on. I need to forgive or I’ll never be happy. I know I don’t deserve you, but Clara please don’t go back to New York.’

Clara stared. She could hear the buzz of voices, a joyful festive song playing in a nearby shop. But all she could focus on was Liam. ‘I don’t understand.’