Page 114 of I’m Already Gone

She nudges me forward, and we walk toward the backyard. I open the gate, letting Lily step through first.

I follow her to the hammock strung between two old oaks. She stops and turns to me, a playful glint in her eyes. “How are we going to do this without ending up on the grass?”

“I’ll go in first, and you lie on top of me.”

She flushes, a soft pink against her pale skin, and she nods, a genuine laugh escaping her. It is a sound I have not heard enough lately.

I step into the hammock, testing it, then hold out my hand. As soon as she sets her hand in mine, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her on top of me, a soft oof escaping her lips before she giggles.

She adjusts her body until she’s comfortable. Her head rests on my chest, and her hand settles naturally on my stomach.

I rock us in the hammock, one arm behind my head and the other wrapped around her shoulders. We lie there, under the quiet stars, and for a moment, the world outside fades away.

I wish this moment could last forever.

Lily

“You seem ridiculously happy,” Ebony teases, nudging my foot with hers.

I smile, taking a slow, appreciative sip of my tea. “I am.”

Ebony and I are lounging on the recliners in the enclosed patio of my house. The weather is perfect today. The blue sky is free of clouds, and the sun will not stop shining. It feels like a good omen, a message from the universe that brighter days are ahead. While I have never been one to dwell on superstitions, I can’t help but notice how seamlessly everything has been falling into place lately.

“Care to share?” she asks eagerly.

I lean back against the patio chair. “Ethan and I went on a date.”

Ebony’s face splits into a grin so wide it looks like it might crack. “I knew it had something to do with him! You can’t stop smiling. It must have been one hell of a memorable night.”

I nod. It was amazing, but that word doesn’t even begin to cover it. He was perfect. The night was perfect.

Ebony lets out a small, ecstatic squeal, straightening up in her lounge chair. “Don’t you dare leave me hanging! I want every juicy detail. Now!”

“It was wonderful. We went to the drive-in, walked on the beach, and…” I pause, a blush creeping up my neck as I remember the way his lips felt against mine. The way he worshiped every part of my body and protected my heart. He was loving, supportive, kind, and sweet.

“And then… we made love. After that, we ended it by sleeping outside in the hammock,” I add.

Ebony’s eyes are shining with heartfelt warmth. “Oh, Lily. I am so, so happy for you. So, does this mean you have reconciled?”

“I think so. We haven’t really talked about it.”

“Maybe you won’t need to.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Maybe you’re picking up right where you left off with him,” she explains. “And I’m not talking about after the divorce, or the messy bits. I mean the last memory you had of the two of you being truly happy.”

I wrap my hands around my mug, the heat seeping into my palms, and consider her words. The last memory of us being just us, before everything went sideways, was a day much like today.

We planned to have a lazy day, and we stayed in our pajamas, baked all kinds of sweets just because we could, and watched old movies, tangled up on the couch. With us, there never had to be a reason to spend time together. It was always Ethan and Lily.

Ebony might be on to something. Even though we ended on bad terms, the lingering bitterness was never enough to sever the invisible cord between us. Regardless of time or distance, Ethan and I have always had this deep, unspoken bond that lets us bypass the bad memories. Instead, we focused on the good times and how they made us feel.

But suddenly, the uncertainty and anxiety engulf me like a bucket of ice water. “What if… what if I don’t make it, Eb?”

Her lips curve downward. “We talked about this. Don’t you dare go there,” she says, her voice firm. “You’re going to beat this thing.”

“But what if I don’t?”