Page 125 of I’m Already Gone

Then a low hum starts in my chest, a melody forming on my lips. “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams pours out of me.

Her smile stretches wider, her eyes glistening with nostalgia and love. “Our song.”

It’s the song I sang to her the very first time I declared my love for her.

When I hit the higher notes a little off-key, she giggles. I take a step deeper into the water, feeling it rise to my knees. With Lily still in my arms, I lower us into the ocean, her legs wrapping around my waist.

“I am so in love with you. More than I ever have, if that’s even possible,” I whisper against her lips, my hands finding her hips, and giving them a squeeze.

“And I feel so lucky to be loved by you,” she breathes back, her lips meeting mine in a soft kiss that deepens into something more. Our tongues find each other, a tentative, almost shy dance that quickly deepens, picking up the pace. She tastes like sugar and strawberries.

A chorus of wolf whistles erupts from a group of teenagers further down the beach, making us both pull back, laughing against each other’s mouths.

I place my hands on the nape of her neck, drawing her lips back to mine, kissing her with years’ worth of longing, desperation, regret, forgiveness, and grief. The waves continue their rhythmic dance around us.

Holding her like this makes me question if I have created a safe enough haven for Lily, to give her the world, to remind her, every single day, that she is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. I want to tell her repeatedly that she makes my life better and inspires me to be a better man, a better father, and a better husband. And now... now I’m losing her. A sharp heat prickles at my eyes, and I press my lips against hers more intensely, as if I can make this moment last forever.

Lily must sense the shift, the sudden, desperate edge to my kiss. She pushes me away, her brow furrowing. I try to draw her close again, needing to feel her, but she stops me.

“Ethan?”

I turn away, not wanting her to see my pain, but she cradles my face, forcing me to look at her.

Her frown deepens as she takes me in. “What’s wrong?”

“It should be me,” I rasp.

“What should?” she asks.

“Your fate. It should be mine. Lily, if I could take your place, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

Her jaw drops. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I can’t do this without you. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist,” I choke out, sucking in a ragged breath, pulling her closer, needing to feel every inch of her against me. “I don’t want to. Please don’t make me do it. Please, Lily.”

“Oh, Ethan.”

I bury my face on her shoulder. “We finally got it right, and now we’re running out of time,” I cry.

“I don’t see it that way,” she says softly. I pull back, searching her eyes so I can understand what she means by that.

“You don’t?” I ask.

She runs her hands over my head, and I close my eyes, savoring the warmth of her touch and feeling comforted by her presence.

“No, I’m not scared of dying anymore. Do you know why?”

I shake my head.

“Because you and our children are the best things in my life. And even though we don’t have forever, it was everything. You and the kids are everything to me, Ethan. Let’s spend the rest of my days making each moment count. Okay?”

I nod and promise I will do the best I can to keep that smile on her face until she takes her last breath. She’s right; I cannot love her as if she’s already gone. This may not be the ending we asked for, but we were given a second chance, and I sure as hell am not going to waste it.

Not a single second.

I burst into the living room, arms overflowing with a stack of fluffy blankets.

“Alright, my minions. Extra blankets have arrived,” I announce, drawing all eyes to me.