Page 137 of I’m Already Gone

Aknock at the door jolts me from my spiral of misery. My eyes, swollen and red from crying, dart toward the entrance as my father steps inside.

“Son, what’s wrong?” He glances at Lily, then back to me.

“Oh, God.” He sucks in a sharp breath. “Is she…”

“No,” I blurt out.

His shoulders visibly relax. “Is she okay?” he asks.

I rise unsteadily, my gaze drifting to Lily, peacefully sleeping yet looking so fragile, as if she could slip away at any moment. I press a tender kiss to her forehead, my voice barely a whisper. “I’ll be back, Sunshine.”

With heavy steps, I move toward my father as I struggle to catch my breath.

“Ethan, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” he presses, concern etched into his features.

“I can’t do this, Dad.”

He takes a cautious step closer. “Do what, son?”

I cast a glance toward the bedroom door where Lily lies. “I can’t lose her.” I gesture helplessly in her direction. “I can’t sit there and watch the final piece of her slip away.”

In an instant, the weight of it all bears down on me, and I crumble to the ground. My father is there, as if knowing I need him to catch me. The same way he did when I first told him about Lily’s pregnancy with Ollie.

He envelops me in his strong arms, holding me tightly. “It’s going to be okay, Ethan. You’ll get through this, I promise.”

I sob harder, clutching his shirt, seeking comfort. “It’s not fair, Dad.”

He sniffles. “I know, son. I know it’s not fair.”

He continues to hold me as I cry for the love of my life. We’ve finally been given a second chance, and now it feels like I’m losing her all over again. But this time, it’s a loss that will be eternally final.

“How long has she been asleep?” my mom asks, cradling her steaming cup of tea.

I clear my scratchy throat and respond, “A few hours.”

After my mini breakdown, I called Lily’s doctor. She came for a home visit and assessed Lily, ultimately suggesting it was time to start hospice. Something we have anticipated since that day when the news shattered our world, revealing that Lily’s time was limited.

Ollie refuses to leave Lily’s side. Meanwhile, Jake and Maddy are outside with Sam, doing their best to stay positive, but it’s clear they’re feeling the weight of needing to say their final goodbyes.

I rub my hands down my face in a futile attempt to shake off the exhaustion.

“You need to eat something, son,” Dad urges.

Before I can tell him that food is the last thing on my mind, footsteps come from down the hall.

I shoot up from the chair, my heart racing as the hospice nurse emerges, followed closely by Lily’s parents, their eyes red-rimmed and brimming with grief.

“What is it?” I manage, though the words scrape my throat. I swallow hard, but the lump in my throat only grows, pressing against every breath like it’s trying to choke me.

The nurse looks at me with a sad smile. “Lily is awake and is asking for you. She told me not to say anything because she wants to be the one to tell you.”

Tell me what?

I rush past her and run down the hall until I’m outside our bedroom door. I stop when I hear Lily’s sweet voice speaking to Ollie.

“Are you going away forever, Mama?” he asks, his voice trembling.

It takes a moment for her to respond, but when she does, I can hear the sound of heartbreak in her words, clear as day. “Physically, yes, I am, sweetheart. But I will always be in your heart.”