Page 27 of I’m Already Gone

I love you so much.

Please come home. I’m worried about you.

Can you at least tell me you’re okay.

Never mind. Marcus told me you’re with Ebony.

Please, Sunshine. I’m so, so sorry.

I hurt you, and I broke what we had. I would take it back if I could, every second of it.

Please come home. We don’t have to fix everything tonight. I can’t stand the thought of you out there hurting because of me.

I finally picked up the phone and replied.

Home doesn’t feel like home right now.

Ethan

I hate that I did this to us.

You should’ve thought about that before you almost fucked her.

Ethan

And I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.

Unable to stomach another empty apology, I silenced his messages. I locked the screen, plunging it into darkness, as if that could somehow extinguish the darkness consuming me.

Ethan

“Dad, where’s Mom?” Maddy asked, a wide yawn stretching her small face. She was perched at the kitchen table in her pjs, her sock-covered feet swinging.

I flipped a pancake. “She’ll be back later today.” My voice felt thick, like I had dust in my throat. “She’s with your Aunt Sam and Ebony.”

“Are you working today?” she asked, her blue eyes, so much like mine, fixed on me.

I walked over, the spatula carrying a pancake clutched in my hand, and slid a pancake onto her plate. “Not today, sweet pea.”

“Yay!” she cheered.

“That’s a first,” Jake muttered, his voice flat, as he walked into the kitchen. He didn’t look at me, heading straight for the fridge.

“Morning, son.”

His silence was a physical blow, creating a cold, sharp ache in my chest. Nowadays, my own son looked at me with nothing but disappointment. And he was right to. After what I did to Lily, after my absence, there was no excuse. Now, I had to live with my choices and hope Lily wouldn’t leave me, that she’d give me a chance to make it right.

“I thought we could all spend the day together,” I said as I returned the pan to the burner.

“Can’t”, Jake replied, pulling out a carton of milk and a box of cereal. “I have plans.”

“Doing what?” I asked.

He paused, his eyes, dark and accusing, finally met mine. “Now you’re interested in my life?”

I flinched. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

He set the milk back in the fridge and turned fully toward me, his jaw set. “For what exactly?”