Page 14 of The Need to Know

Bland sense of style or not, I stuck it through and finished the movie with Scorsese by my side. Its overall take on my Nasty scale? Two and a half stars—or tongues, since I used a cheeky rating system. I never felt connected to Anne’s character enough to care. And then there was Meryl Streep’s character. I didn’t understand the need for CEOs or bosses to be these tyrannical assholes. The world moved better when everyone was kind, nice—human. A childish thought, I knew, but come on.

I typed up some quick thoughts and planned to fully write more in the morning during my shift.

Soon, I fell back as my mind drifted to him. The stranger I’d met earlier during my trip to the gym.

He was the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. The living embodiment of a Black Ken doll with his structured face, smoldering dark eyes, nice teeth, low cut with deep waves, and well maintained low-beard.

Ezekiel.

He had a biblical name, but I doubted there was anything else holy about him. Something about his demeanor and his smile said his dick was big, and he knew it too. I bet it was beautiful, the holy grail of pleasure. Looks alone, he was definitely giving what needed to be received.

His voice was deep and smooth, like chocolate. He spoke my name with such richness I felt a sugar high all the way to my car.

Everything about him was tempting. If there was one thing about me, I loved them tall, and I loooved arms. After I’d rejected Ezekiel, I’d snuck and watched him for a moment as he went on to work out. There was something sexy as hell about a man who could do pull-ups. And he did them with grace, too. He had a tattoo, a sleeve on one arm with an intricate pattern that snaked underneath his navy muscle shirt.

He was gorgeous. He was tall. He had nice arms. And why was I letting it all pass me by?

Leaning over the side of my bed, I dug in my purse for—there it was. I lay back and examined the golden VIP pass Ezekiel had given me that granted all access into the club and into the Diamond Suite. That was the thing about the BLVCKJVCK nightclub, apparently it was designed and distinguished by playing card suits. Each section of the club was a different house. I was curious about that. It was honestly unique and creative.

I wasn’t the clubbing type. That was more Paisley’s realm than mine. Still, a free night out wouldn’t hurt.

But did I want to see Ezekiel again? I’d been in a mood earlier, and he’d handled it well, not snapping at me or becoming rude.

As good-looking as he was, I hadn’t been with a man since Corey and I split last August. I wasn’t sure if I could ever trust again. I was particularly over men—boys who referred to women as “females” or worse, “joints.” The kind that were quick to call their friends “king,” but their conquests “bitches,” “hos,” and the like.

Corey was like that, except when it came to me, I was his “girl.” And I thought that made me special, until eventually I was his “joint.”

As I stared at the golden pass, my mind split in two. I could go and just enjoy myself with Paisley and if I bumped into Ezekiel, it was whatever, or, I could throw the pass away and wash my hands of it.

I grabbed my phone and clicked on Paisley’s number in my recent call log and stared up at the ceiling as the phone rang out.

“What’s up?” She picked up quickly.

“What are you doing this weekend?” I asked her.

“I have no idea, why?”

I fiddled with the laminated card in my hand. “I got invited to BLVCKJVCK. The owner’s son gave me a free pass that gets us into VIP even.”

“Looks like I’m busy Friday night kickin’ it with you.”

I chuckled. “I don’t know, I could just give it to you and you go and have fun.”

On her end, Paisley heaved a sigh, and I knew I was done for. “Was he cute?”

Beyond words. “Very.”

“And now you’re overthinking when we could be out drinking and having fun,” she chastised me. “I knew those flowers were going to set you back.”

The flowers, that lovely arrangement of roses, had mysteriously disappeared by the time I’d gotten back from the gym. It wasn’t until I was taking out trash after closing that I found them in the dumpster.

Paisley was a savage.

“We all gotta date one fool in our lives, you just refuse to let yours go,” she went on, sounding as if she were shaking her head.

Paisley was right, as she so often was. It wasn’t about Corey, or even Ezekiel for that matter, but about me and how long I’d been holed up in my house if I wasn’t at work or the gym. The only thing I lived on after my final breakup with Corey was endorphins, the feeling I got from a killer workout couldn’t be beat. And now on my quest to be numb over those flowers, an opportunity had presented itself for some much-deserved fun and relaxation.

Corey was probably somewhere picturing me at home, being a good girl, not out but in, waiting for him to come crawling back for another chance.