Page 68 of Up In Flames

The whole of me pools into one big, messy puddle of relief. I can live again. I can breathe again. I can hope again. All because of her.

My hands wrap around her waist so I can lift her up to my height and kiss her senseless.

Except…

My hands drop. “But the part about children. I’m deadly serious about never having any. Maybe I’m cursed, maybe I’m not, maybe it’s to the third or fourth generation, maybe it’s only the first, but I’m never going to risk it. In fact, I’ve decided to get a vasectomy. You said it yourself a few minutes ago. Any Watcher capable of love wouldn’t have had children who would bear his curse. You’d have to live with that, Nina. You have to live with the fact I might one day go to Hell and become a demon, leaving you forever, and you have to deal with us not having kids, not ever. Can you do that?”

“About you being a demon?” She smiles, a long, slow slide of mirth. “Yeah. I can live with that. If you go to Hell, it’s going to be because of your Red Room, but I don’t think that’s going to be an issue. As for kids, that’s harder, but I get it. So, yes, I can accept not giving birth to your child. It’s going to be… hard. I’m not going to lie. I’d love to have a little Sammy running around, getting into mischief, but I understand your position. I’ll support your vasectomy.”

“Are you sure?” Because I’ve got the itch to have a little Nina running around. I want a child with her so badly, it nearly engulfs all my good senses. But there’s another way. Even without believing it could ever happen with her, I’ve been thinking it through, weighing what could be possible in the back of my mind. In my daydreams.

She nods, but her blue eyes bruise.

“Good. Because we can’t make a baby together, but there may be another option for you to have a child, one that we could raise together.” And I wait, my fallacy about breathing proving to be a lie when my breath refuses to meet my lungs.

“Like what? If you’re planning on lending me out to your friends so one of them can be my baby’s daddy, think again.”

And since my suggestion was going to be artificial insemination with another man’s sperm, maybe one of the guys I work with so that I’d know the father was decent and upright, I don’t respond.

She leans against me, making my dick jump. Stupid thing doesn’t realize we’re still on borrowed time.

“Or are you talking a reverse harem situation?” she asks. “I did wish to be the adored middle.”

I’m goaded despite knowing that she’s only teasing me. “Back in high school, you already proved that doesn’t work.” My hand wraps around the back of her neck. “If anyone lays a finger on you, they’re dead. I’ll snap his bloody neck. I was contemplating artificial insemination, no other dick involved.”

“So much for using your Red Room for a menage a trois while another guy services my womb.” And she bites her lip, a smile trembling at its edges.

Still, I grit my teeth at the image. I know she’s trying to get under my skin, a little revenge for all the hurt I’ve caused her, but I’m ready to grind some poor imaginary guy to dust anyway. “Nina, so help me…”

She raises a brow. “Help you do what, Sammy?”

Every single time she uses the diminutive of my name, fire spools through me, setting me ablaze. It was different when Xy addressed me with the cute moniker. From Nina’s mouth, I become like a panting little puppy, wanting nothing more than to curl into her and lick her all over.

The outrage drains out of me. “I’m setting the Red Room ablaze, just in case you get more ridiculous ideas.”

“Don’t do that. I admit, seeing all the furnishings made me think of you with other women, and that set me off something fierce since I honestly didn’t know if I could handle everything the room entailed, but you know what?” She moves the few inches closer and runs her fingers up my thighs. “I don’t want to share you with anyone, either. Not even the ghosts of your past. Want to hear my plans?”

“No?”

She smiles. “You’re going to put a ring on my finger. Long or short engagement is up to you, so long as it’s within the year. But you’re marrying me, Sampson Dean, and making an honest woman out of me. Then, after a nice honeymoon, details to be decided, we’re going to convert the Red Room into a nursery.”

And just like that, all the joy slips away on greased heels. “You’re not listening, Nina.”

“I’m listening. You’re still not thinking straight. I want a baby. I want a baby with you, but I don’t much care if it’s our genetic material or not. Why should I? I’m after your fathering skills, Sammy. I’m after building a family with lots of love and light and laughter, every single day, for as long as I can keep us all together. We can decide how to do it, I guess. I could get someone else’s sperm shot up me with a turkey baster, or…” She pauses, staring at me like she’s waiting for me to pick up what she’s throwing down, but at the moment, I can’t see past her to a single clear thought. “Or, we could simply adopt, which I’d love to do. I’d love to honor your parents by following in their footsteps. After all, they forged you into an incredible human being by raising you as they did.”

“I’m not a human being.” It’s my last shot, my last defense.

“You’re the most human being I’ve ever met. And I’ve got you.”

There are no words for the light that blinds me from the inside. I drag Nina up and press her tight to me so I can ravage her mouth. I never thought of adoption. I don’t know why. But it’s perfect.

Nina’s perfect, and she’s going to be my wife.

And even if I’m the only happy giant to ever live, because apparently, happiness is not part of our DNA, I’m still the happiest.

More than happy. I’m ecstatic.

CHAPTER 23