Page 102 of Pucked Around and Found Out

“Messes can be cleaned, darlin’.” I look up to see Carn leaning against the wall with a soft smile on his face.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admit. “Every time I think I have it all figured out, some new piece of information comes out and pulls the rug out from under me!” Tears burn the backs of my eyes as frustration begins to build. “I thought I could do this… I really thought I could come back here and be the person—” A sob erupts from me and I break down. Within a split second, Carnage is beside me, wrapping me in his arms and tucking me into his side. My tears soak his shirt. He clutches me tighter.

“You aren’t the angel of darkness, Tor,” he says quietly. “You’re not supposed to have the answers figured out on your own.”

“But everyone is counting on me,” I sob. “Masen has the intel you and the guys need. Xaden needs—” My voice breaks. “And I don’t know how to be all these things for all these people.”

“Then don’t be,” he says simply. “You don’t owe anyone a version of yourself that doesn’t exist. You just have to be you, darlin’.”

“But what if I’m not enough?” The question tears from my throat without consent. “What if I make the wrong choice and people die because of it?”

“Then that’s on them for putting that weight on you,” Carnage says firmly, his hand comes up to cup my face, forcing me to look at him. “You’re nineteen years old, pregnant, and dealing with more shit than most people face in a lifetime. You don’t have to carry everyone else’s expectations, Tor.”

His touch is so gentle, so careful, and I find myself leaning into it without thinking.

“That’s easier said than done,” I whisper.

“I know.” His voice drops lower, softer and suddenly I’m hyperaware of how close we are. Of the warmth of his body against mine. Of the way his dark eyes are locked on my face like I’m the only thing in the world that matters.

“You’re not alone in this,” he continues and his thumb traces along my cheekbone. “Whatever happens, whatever you decide, I’m here. Not because you owe me anything. Not because I expect anything from you. Just… because I want to be.”

I should pull away.

Should put distance between us.

Should remember that I’m pregnant with another man’s baby and Carnage is my friend.

But I can’t move.

Can’t fucking breathe.

Can’t do a damn thing except stare at him as he leans closer, his eyes dropping to my lips for just a fraction of a second.

“Carn,” I breathe, and I don’t know if it’s a warning or a plea.

His hand slides from my cheek to the back of my neck, fingers threading through my hair. He’s so close, I can feel his breath on my face.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs, his voice rough. “Tell me this isn’t what you want and I’ll stop right now.”

But the words won’t come.

Because in this moment, with tears still wet on my face and my world falling apart around me, all I want is to feel something other than pain.

To be wanted by someone who isn’t fighting it every step of the way.

To be chosen by someone who actually wants to choose me.

His forehead comes to rest against mine, and we stay like that, frozen in the space between what we are and what we could be.

“I can’t,” I finally whisper and I hear him release a shaky breath. “Carn, I can’t. The baby—Xaden—I’m such a mess right now and you deserve⁠—”

“Hey.” He pulls back just enough to look at me, his hand still cradling my neck. “I don’t care about what I deserve. I care about you, point blank period. And if you need me to be just a friend, just your protector—I can do that. I’ll be whatever you need me to be darlin’.”

The sincerity in his voice breaks something inside me.

“I don’t know what I need,” I admit, fresh tears falling. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

“Then let me be here while you figure it out,” he says simply. “No pressure. No expectations just… here.”