Page 109 of Pucked Around and Found Out

XADEN

I’m in the ring, facing off against Johnson. I can’t sleep, eat or even focus. I need an outlet for my rage, the only way I know how to do that is to fight or fuck and the latter isn’t on the cards since my dick only seems to get hard for one fucking person these days.

I’m channeling my rage, Johnson my newest target. I’ve already taken down three of my guys and I know this asshole is pulling his punches because he thinks I can’t take it. As rundown as this place is, I still find comfort here. I brought Toren here to fight, and somehow the memory of her inside this ring with me is clouding my solace.

I can’t go to the fucking rink and skate because the Ravens are training, and Coach won’t let me train with the team until the ban is lifted. He emailed me and told me the scouts were fucking out of their mind when they saw me win the championship against Somerset, but they had to do damage control because no college is going to offer me a scholarship with the fucking suspension dangling over my head.

I don’t regret beating the shit out of Masen.

I would do it over and over again.

“Boss—”

“I said hit me!” Rather than obey a direct order, Johnson drops his arms. Before I can lash out, Andrade steps into the ring. No gloves. I smirk, that’s more like it. I start to remove my own gloves but his words have me pausing.

“I’m not fighting you.”

I bare my teeth at the bastard. “Then get the fuck out. Next!” I shout.

“We need to move.”

“Why?”

He squares his shoulders and meets my angry glare. “Because we believe Toren is walking into a trap.”

Rage engulfs me.

I fight against the urge to break his jaw for mentioning her name.

I’m not in control when it comes to Toren. The thought of her in any danger shouldn’t bother me but it does. I’m fighting against every instinct inside me that is screaming at me to go to her, this is what I wanted. I wanted her taken off the board. I cling to the notion that I am only concerned about her safety because I am the one who is owed her death, not some other cunt.

“How?”

“One of the men we have inside the Kellar network got word that there is a briefing tonight at Steven’s mansion.”

“And?” I snap, already impatient and needing him to get to the fucking point about how Toren is in danger.

“I had the guy’s check the chatter on the dark web and hack the CIA server. Fiona will be at the briefing. She’s embedding undercover agents in the organization. She wants to take Toren down in the hopes of drawing you, the Filthy Few, The Denver Kings and even The Butcher himself out.”

I begin to count to keep myself from lashing out. I remove the gloves and climb out of the ring without uttering a word. Andrade follows me as I exit the building and climb inside my car. He jumps in beside me and says nothing as I break every speed limit. Once I park in front of my father’s—my mansion, I climb out with him hot on my heels and head straight for the basement.

Cas is laying on the cot against the far side of the room. At the sound of our approach, he sits up and when he sees the look on my face his entire body turns rigid, not with fear, it’s his instinct overriding him.

He knows there’s about to be a fight and he wants in on it.

“What happened?” he snaps, like he still has the right to speak to me this way.

Before I can bite his head off Andrade speaks. “Fiona is making a move against Masen.”

He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, one of them is in a cast. He reaches for the crutches. I don’t move to help the bastard. When he finally stands he looks me dead in the eyes. I hate that I still see my brother when all I should be looking at is a corpse.

“If she is finally moving against the Kellar’s, that means she is desperate or she has something up her sleeve.” He moves until there is two feet separating us, his eyes burning with a plea. I should slaughter the fucker where he stands for what he did, but a part of me understands why he did it. Grief can alter you in a way you never saw coming, it will derail all your carefully laid plans and drag you into the darkness and force you to surrender your entire being to it.

Like I did.

I am who I am now because I allowed the monster inside me to gain control. I let the darkness consume me and use me as its conduit.

I have zero fucking regrets.