Page 150 of Pucked Around and Found Out

The thought follows me into sleep.

And I dream of fire and blood and a man with gray eyes who saves me but can't stay.

Over and over again.

He saves me.

Then he chooses violence over me.

And I let him.

Because loving Xaden Devlin means accepting that sometimes, I'll come second to his darkness.

And I don't know if that's love or self-destruction.

Maybe it's both.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

XADEN

Ken drives while I sit in the back, covered in soot and ash and the lingering smell of smoke. My hands are raw, blistered from the fire. Burns on my arms that I can't feel.

Can't feel anything except the terror still coursing through my veins.

She wasn't breathing.

The thought loops endlessly.

I found her, she wasn't breathing and I thought—I thought⁠—

“Boss?” Ken's voice cuts through the fog. “We're here.”

I'm out of the vehicle before it fully stops, moving through the emergency entrance with Cas hobbling behind me on his crutch.

The hospital smells like antiseptic and death.

I hate it.

Hate everything about this place: the fluorescent lights, the beeping machines, the nurses moving through hallways like ghosts.

“Toren Kellar,” I tell the nurse at the desk. My voice sounds wrong. too rough, too desperate. “She was brought in about forty minutes ago. Smoke inhalation. Where is she?”

The nurse types on her computer. “Are you family?”

The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I'm the father of her child.” Saying it out loud feels… I can’t even explain it. “Where. Is. She.”

Something in my tone or maybe my face, makes her decide not to argue.

“Room 304. Third floor. But sir, she's⁠—”

I don't wait to hear the rest. I just move toward the elevators, Cas struggling to keep up. The ride up feels like it takes hours. When the doors finally open, I'm moving again, following signs until I find room 304.

The door is partially open.

I can see her through the gap.

Lying in the bed, so small, so still.