Page 74 of Pucked Around and Found Out

What have I done?

What the fuck have I done?

I let Xaden claim me. Let him mark me. Let him inside my body and my heart in ways I can never take back.

And now?

Now I might lose everything because of it.

The safehouse comes into view and dread settles like a stone in my stomach.

I'm going to have to face Carnage. Have to explain where I was, what I was doing.

Have to admit that I've fallen for the man who destroyed us all.

And I have no idea how to do that without losing the only family I have left.

To teach is to learn. To learn is to excel. To excel is to thrive. To thrive is to live.

The mantra whispers through my mind, but it feels hollow now.

Because I'm not thriving.

I'm drowning.

And the worst part?

I don't think I want to be saved.

Not if being saved means giving up Xaden.

Not if it means never feeling the way I felt in his arms again.

I'm in so far over my head, I can't see the surface anymore.

And tomorrow at five a.m., I'm going to have to make a choice.

Protect Cas and lose Xaden's trust.

Or betray my friend and keep whatever this thing is between us alive.

God help me, I don't know which one terrifies me more.

Walking through the front door of this place feels different than it did mere hours ago.

I don't have Carnage at my side. Don't have the feeling of his presence grounding me, anchoring me to something real and safe.

Just his presence alone brings a sense of calm. He has a way of steadying me without even trying, like he's the eye of the storm while chaos rages all around us.

I follow Omen into the kitchen, spotting the others gathered around the island, with hard, unforgiving looks carved into their faces.

At the sound of our approach, Halo, Vatican, Pope, Alex, and the Filthy Few all turn their focus to us.

The one who holds my attention, who steals the breath from my lungs, is Alex.

The furious look in his eyes has my breath hitching and my feet freezing on the spot. I've never seen him this angry. Not even close.

I don't see Carnage anywhere, and a pang of hurt hits me square in the chest with devastating force.