Page 86 of But For You

“You okay, B?” I asked as I picked her up.

“I wanna go home to my house and my room, and I want Daddy to come home.” She whimpered the last of it.

“I know, B.” I soothed her, rubbing her back as her head clunked down on my shoulder. “He’ll be home soon. Maybe tonight, we’ll all sleep in my room, huh?”

She nodded against the side of my neck, and I asked the detective if we were done.

He agreed that we were. He gave me his card and said he’d be in touch and we were allowed to go home. The captain told me he would be in touch with Chaz and Pat, and I thanked him before I got both my kids in the car to finally head home.

“Lucky we didn’t buy any ice cream,” I told them.

And suddenly, things were better, normal, because they both thought the idea of a soupy mess in the back of the minivan was hysterical.

That night, as I lay between my two freshly showered little people, both in pajamas and both snuggled up against me, I tried Sam. It went to voicemail, and because I was never sure about how safe his phone was, I just texted a heart before I turned out the light.

NINE

Iwas not one of those hit the ground running in the morning people. I was probably a reincarnated vampire, truth be told. So, it was not surprising that I was standing beside the coffee maker, waiting for it to brew the precious elixir that would keep me vertical, when he walked through the door.

I was stunned.

I had not expected him for weeks. To find Sam Kage, rumpled and with three days’ growth of beard, scowling at me was a shock.

“What the hell is going on?” he roared at me.

I lifted my eyebrows. “Hello to you too.”

He growled, dropped his duffel, pulled off his peacoat, and flung it down onto the couch before striding forward.

I moved around the island in the kitchen, which was a counter on one side and a bar on the other. The open layout of the loft meant that one room flowed into the next, so I was thankful for the small barrier between us.

“What are you doing?”

“Why are you mad?”

His eyes widened. “Why am I mad? I dunno … lemme think.”

I crossed my arms, waiting.

“Kola had his finger broken, you had to protect your children all alone from this psychopath, and you witnessed a hit on two policemen!”

“The dinner party was really the worst part. Your boyfriend was there.” I shivered.

He snarled low in the back of his throat and came at me.

I would have run, but it was just too early in the morning. I turned instead, and he charged up to me, grabbed my arms tight, and shook me.

“Why do you keep letting me go?”

“Why do you keep going?” I asked back, knowing from the raw, haunted look in his eyes that I was seeing a man absolutely eaten up with guilt and worry and pain.

He was sick that he had not been there for me or Kola or Hannah.

“I always think if I want something done right, I absolutely must do it myself.”

“I know.” I smiled as my voice softened, and he let me go, his hands moving to my face, cupping it. “It’s okay.”

A shuddering gasp went right through him before his jaw clenched.