Page 99 of But For You

The noise he made was pure, unadulterated disgust.

“I thought that⁠—”

“I only kiss you, idiot.”

I scowled at him.

He let out a breath, and then I got the grin I loved, the evil one, the one that made his eyes glitter.

“And besides, ya know, my seduction skills are kinda rusty ’cause now I just hafta snap my fingers to get laid.”

He saw my eyes go murderous and started laughing at the same time he grabbed me, wrapping me up in arms bulky with muscle.

“Sam!”

“I only hold you down, I only fuck you, and I only ever sleep with you in my arms. I’m not Sonny Crockett, ya know; I don’t go undercover and get laid to a Jan Hammer soundtrack.” He was still smiling, but his eyes were locked on mine and pleading. “Baby, Salcedo made a mistake, sending Kevin, and we’re gonna exploit that.”

I nodded because I couldn’t speak.

“And now I understand that Kevin Dwyer never had any feelings for me at all. Everything he ever said, everything he told me he felt, was a lie, and I can’t say I’m upset about that in the least.”

“No,” I told him. “He might have been in a bad position, Sam, but I saw how he looked at you, and that was real.”

But Sam wasn’t buying it; I could see it on his face. He had made up his mind, and that was it. No matter what Kevin Dwyer had ever done, ever said, Sam had passed judgment on him, and it was done.

I needed to get my hands on him, to hug him, hold him, but he was so much stronger than me, so much bigger, and that fact—that he was all about power and control—was the biggest turn-on ever.

“I think you’re wrong about Kevin. I think he might be back here under Salcedo’s orders, but I have no doubt that his feelings were real all those years ago, and I’ll bet, if you’re up for it, he would love to have you back.”

“As if I give a damn. That day I went out to talk to him in the hall, do you wanna know what I said?”

I was dying to know and thought, for a moment, of playing it cool, but couldn’t quite get any nonchalant words out of my mouth.

“Well?” he prodded me.

“Do you want to tell me?”

“Yes.”

I nodded so he would go ahead.

“He told me he wanted to see me.”

Of course he had.

“And I told him I was married and I had a family and that he was not part of my life anymore. I wished him the best, and I walked away.”

It was so cold, so final, and if I had been in Kevin’s place, it would have killed me.

“I said the same thing to you when you charged back into my life after three years away.”

“No,” he assured me. “You told me you didn’t think it would work, but that was only because you were scared I would hurt you again. You didn’t have a life yet; you didn’t have a husband or kids. There’s a big difference.”

Yes, there was.

“And I knew I was the one for you—always. There was never a doubt in my mind.”

“No?”