Page 79 of Unforgettable Player

My heart sinks. “Because I actually am a loser.”

“Connor—”

I squeeze his shoulder, hoping he picks up on the smile. “It’s okay. I was being a loser. Always running away when things didn’t work out. But I’m not gonna do that anymore.”

He cocks an eyebrow.

“How would you feel about seeing more of me after this summer?”

He bites his lip. What does that mean? Does he want to see more of me? Is it awkward because he was really betting on me being in California by the end of summer?

Before I can figure it out or ask him, Scout’s bedroom door opens.

“What are you two doing standing around yapping? Hurry up and get in the shower already.”

ELLIOT

I watch Connor and Scout on Dance Mania, shoving each other and laughing together. Another reason why this has to be just be a casual fling. If Scout knew, she wouldn’t be willing to patch things up with her brother. She would see it as one more betrayal, by him, but also me.

If you look carefully, you can see that Connor is letting her win. He’s always let her win. He watches her more than he watches the screen, a smile on his face at how much fun she’s having, how happy she is when she beats him. Does he really want to throw that away? So what did he mean by, ‘How would you feel about seeing more of me after this summer?’

The sky has gone cloudy when we get out of the arcade. I try not to take it as a bad omen.

“Wanna get some pizza to bring home?” Scout asks.

“Actually, I need to go home and check on my dad. I haven’t been there in a few days.”

“I can give you a ride,” Connor says.

Scout pulls me closer, looping her arm through mine. “I’ll take him. He’s mine.”

I know she’s joking, but I also note the way Connor swallows and his face drops. Connor drives off in his shiny Volvo while Scout is still messing with the stereo. The VW has risen from the dead after a stint in the shop, but I still worry it’s going to give up on us at any second. It makes an unhealthy sound as Scout puts it into gear. But then we’re on the road and the worry lines in Scout’s forehead smooth out.

“Want me to come in with you and get your dad to eat something?” Scout asks.

“No, it’s okay.”

She’s quiet for a moment. When she speaks again, it’s in the voice she uses when she knows I’m about to argue. “Eli, do you think it’s time we maybe hassled him into seeing someone? A professional?”

My hands get sweaty and I can’t look at her. “No. He won’t go.”

“Not voluntarily, not at first, but maybe we could⁠—”

“No, Scout.” I keep my voice as level as I can.

“Eli, you are not equipped to care for a depressed adult. You have school, you can’t be there all the time. It isn’t fair to you.”

My head spins. I’m doing everything wrong. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from telling Scout she doesn’t understand, but that’s not totally accurate. She’s been here through everything, and what do I give her in return? I’m a bad friend and a bad son. My mom would be so disappointed with me.

“Eli? Are you crying? Shit.”

The car screeches to a halt, a horrible noise coming from the tires.

She unclips her seatbelt while I swipe at my face to bring myself under control. What the hell am I doing? Before I can lie again and tell her I’m okay, Scout is lurching across the seats and throwing her arms around me.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push you. I just care about you and I don’t like to see you beat yourself up.” She moves back from the hug to look at me, but I can’t meet her eye. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Eli.”

I have to hold in a groan. I’ve done everything wrong. If only she knew.