Page 86 of Unforgettable Player

20

CONNOR

Iswear I heard Elliot and Scout arguing last night. I’ve never heard Elliot angry before, but he was definitely shouting. I waited to hear if someone would storm out. I told myself it would be okay for me to go and check on whoever it was. That would be a totally normal thing to do, right? Still respecting my promise to leave Elliot alone.

But no one stormed out. They probably made up, like they always do. Like they would if Elliot just allowed himself to have what he wants for once in his life and be with me.

Mom and Dad are surprised to see me up so early the next morning.

“Did you sleep okay? You look tired,” Mom says, touching my shoulder on her way to the coffee machine.

“Yeah, I just woke up early,” I lie.

“Hallelujah, you made the coffee,” she says. “Where’s the guy with the plaque for World’s Best Son?”

I huff a laugh, hiding my face in my mug.

Dad catches me and gives me a knowing smile. “Connor, you know in the future, if you’re ever struggling with anything, you can talk to us, right?”

I swallow. It’s far too early for this conversation. I nod and hum, hoping he’ll take that as an answer.

“We’re not only proud of you if you’re at Harvard or playing professional hockey. We meant what we said when we told you we just want you and your sister to be happy—whatever that looks like.”

My heart pounds and my throat is too tight to swallow when I open my mouth to tell them the one secret I’m still keeping. But before I can say a word, Scout comes stomping into the room. How the fuck does she manage to stomp in socks?

Elliot’s behind her, his hair messy from sleep, his face naked without his glasses on. He’s keeping his distance, but memory tells me what he smells like in the morning. My eyes get unfocussed as I let myself imagine what it would be like to go and claim him. Put my hand on his waist and kiss him good morning. Call him baby and ask him how he slept.

When I focus my gaze again, I catch Dad watching me with curiosity.

I could tell him the truth. I’d tell them all right now how I feel about Eli, but Eli doesn’t want that. So I keep my mouth shut.

I leave the room before I can do something stupid and give everything away. There are things that need to be packed before the end of the summer break. Books I need to find for school. Things I probably need to order. I can get a head start before I drive over to the rink today.

I’m looking for some fresh athletic clothes to put on when there’s a gentle knock on the door.

“Yeah?”

Dad pokes his head around the door. “Can I come in a sec, bud?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

He smiles, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels. I don’t see him nervous like this often. I’m suddenly taken back to him giving me the sex talk. Is that what this is? I hope he knows I don’t need it anymore.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, just packing for school and getting ready to head over to the rink.”

Dad nods. “I noticed the way you were looking at Elliot.”

Blood suddenly rushes to my ears and my face gets hot. But I’m not ashamed of this, so why am I reacting this way?

“I’ve seen you looking at him like that a lot, actually.”

“Dad, I….” I trail off, not knowing what to say.

“It’s alright, Connor. I was waiting for you to tell me yourself. But now it seems like something’s wrong so I wanted to check in.”

I’m finally able to swallow, but it’s dry and my face is still red hot. “I’m bi.”