Page 91 of Unforgettable Player

“Why does he have to ‘steal’ you? Can’t you all be friends?”

“No. It wouldn’t work.”

He leans back and I think he’s given up trying to solve the problem. My heart sinks. But then he says, “How do you feel now?”

I frown, confused. “What?”

“You did the ‘right thing’ and ended things with Connor.”

“Yeah.”

“But you still feel bad.”

“Exactly.”

“So, why don’t you just do the thing you want to do and feel slightly less bad?”

I splutter a laugh. Has he lost his mind? “You and Mom are the ones who taught me ethics and right and wrong and all that. You admire the Stoics.”

Dad scoffs. “This isn’t Ancient Greece or Rome, Eli. You’re not ruling an empire, you’re a college student. Your actions aren’t going to define a nation.”

“That doesn’t mean I should just do whatever I want.”

“No,” he agrees. “But there is more than one way a person can destroy themselves, Elliot. One way is to give themselves over to hedonism and live only for momentary pleasures. And another is to deny themselves all pleasures in pursuit of what is morally ‘right.’”

This is the most I’ve heard my dad speak in so long I can’t even remember. But I’m not sure why I’m surprised. He is just saying the kind of thing he’s probably writing in his study. Only now he’s saying it out loud.

“So, what should I do?”

“I can’t answer that for you, Eli. But I think you already know.”

21

CONNOR

Ifind Scout in her room.

She’s on the bed, wiping blue nail polish off her toenails with a record playing in the background.

She barely looks up at me when I come back in before looking back down.

“Hey, can I come in?”

“It’s a free country.”

I step inside, looking around at everything. When was the last time I was in here? I recognize that Patti Smith poster and the Fleetwood Mac album mounted in a frame. The photographs of her and Elliot at concerts and hanging out by the pool.

“Can I?” I gesture to the bed.

She narrows her eyes at me. “Why are you being so weirdly polite? What have you done?”

“Nothing. I’m always polite.”

“Sure.”

“Why are you wiping that off? It looks good.”

“Blue nail polish is cliché.”