Page 159 of Before You Fell

I go still beneath him.

Phoenix senses it right away. He lifts his head. His eyes meet mine and I watch him understand exactly where I just went and why.

For a second, neither of us moves.

His forehead drops to mine. His weight shifts and his hand now cups the side of my face.

When he speaks, his voice is nothing like the man who performs everything.

“You have me now.” His thumb moves gently against my cheek. “Not that fucked-up version of me. Or the fucking coward who walked out because he didn’t know what to do with something that actually mattered.” His jaw clenches, as if he is pissed at himself. “That was the worst thing I have ever done and believe me I know it.”

My eyes burn. “Phoenix.”

“I know.” He leans down and kisses me, his mouth gentle in a way that costs him something. “I know what I did to you. I know what it cost you. And I’m done being that shit version of myself who let that happen.”

“Relax,” he says, as his thumb runs along my cheekbone. “Let me show you it’s different this time. I fucking promise you, Wills.”

He kisses me before I can answer, then pushes inside me. Slow. Inch by inch.

My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. He stretches me, his body held above mine, every muscle locked and shaking with the effort to hold back. His hand grips the sheet beside my head, the only thing showing me that he is losing every scrap of control he is barely holding on to.

“Fuck,” he says against my neck. “You feel so much better than I remember.”

The words drag out of him, too honest to be one of his usual shitty lines.

He stops when he is buried all the way inside me. His breathing is ragged against my throat.

His body shakes.

Mine does too.

“You okay?” His eyes lift to meet mine.

“Yes,” I whisper. “I’m okay.”

“Good.” His hips pull back just an inch, then push forward, and we both suck in a breath at the same time. “Because I am hanging on by a fucking thread here.”

His mouth drops to my ear. “And your tight little pussy wrapped around my cock is not making that easy. Fuck, Wills. You were made for me. Like this pussy was always supposed to be mine.”

The next sequence of thrusts are still slow, dragging through me with a pressure that makes my eyes flutter shut and my whole body arch up into him. I experience every inch of him, the thick stretch of his cock sliding inside me. His hips roll into mine, hitting that spot that makes my vision blur and my mouth fall open on a sound I have no control over.

My fingers slide into his hair and pull hard.

The sound tearing out of his throat is raw.

“Yeah, that’s fucking it,” he says, his voice dropping to something low. “Hold on to me.”

I tighten my grip on his hair. My legs wrap around him, pulling him deeper because I cannot get close enough or remember a single reason that this was ever supposed to be a bad idea.

His rhythm builds. Each thrust is deep enough to send my body higher and higher.

I open my eyes to watch him fuck me and see his eyes are already on me. Watching my face every time he slides into me. His gaze drops to my mouth, then drags back up to my eyes, over and over, as if he cannot decide which part of me he needs to look at most and refuses to choose.

“I have thought about this,” he says, his hips rolling into mine on the words, “since the first time I fucked you.” Another thrust, deeper, and we both exhale hard. “Thought about what it would be like to take my time with you. To have you in a bed instead of a fucking storage room.”

His mouth finds my jaw, my throat. “You have no idea how many times I have thought about fucking you properly, Wills.”

He pulls back and looks at me, eyes dark and completely serious. “And let me tell you, you do not disappoint.”