Page 51 of I Never Stopped Loving You

“Okay, Mama.”

“Good girl. I’ll be right back. I love you.”

I turn in my seat and sit on my knees, looking out the back window as she walks up to the house and opens the front door. I can see the small light from the flashlight on her keyring going back and forth in front of the open door. When the light disappears, I feel even more scared. Where did she go? Where did her light go?

I watch quietly, counting the seconds, waiting for her to come out of the house. The light in my room clicks on, and I can see her walking around my room from here.

Suddenly, another light turns on in the house. It’s the lamp right by the front door. A large shadow is standing in the doorway, and I can see my rabbit in his hand, held by his ear. Daddy is staring at me, but he isn’t moving.

I look back up at my window and can still see Mama looking around my room for Mr. Snuggles. I want to yell or scream, but I’m scared. Daddy hates it when I yell. He says it will make the neighbors mad, and then they will call the police. He said if they call the police, they’ll take me away from him and Mama forever. But isn’t Mama taking me away from Daddy forever tonight?

“Willow! Get over here,” Daddy shouts from the porch.

I can see Mama looking out at me through the window, and she shakes her head no. She told me not to leave the car. I have to stay in here.

“Willow Rae Parker, get your ass out of that fucking car right now,” he shouts louder.

I can hear Bentley’s dog, Bosco, barking across the field. He’s never liked Daddy.

When I glance back up Mama’s not in the window anymore. My light is still on in my room, but she’s not there. My stomach is hurting. It feels worse than when Daddy punches me. Where is she?

The door flies open, and before I can scream, a hand clamps over my mouth, and I’m being dragged out of the car.

“When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it. Stupid fucking child,” he yells.

I kick my feet and try to press them into the dirt to stop him from dragging me, but it’s no use. Daddy’s always stronger than me. Another pull and I can feel my hair ripping. It’s popping, and it feels like my head is being cut.

“Stop it! Let her go!”

“Mama!” I scream, but it’s muffled by his hand.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going, Deb?”

Daddy drags me inside. He throws me to the ground, then whips Mr. Snuggles at me. I quickly grab and hug him close so we won’t be scared. His ear is ripped, but I can fix him.

“She wasn’t feeling good. I was taking her…”

*Smack*

“Don’t you lie to me, woman. I saw those bags. Where the fuck were you going?” he screams.

He grabs her by the hair and shoves her to the ground.

“Stop it!” I cry out, but I shouldn’t have made a sound.

Daddy quickly turns back to me. He bends down closer, and I can smell the icky drink on his breath. Mama says it’s a bad drink because Daddy always gets mean when he drinks it.

“Are you going to tell me where you were going, Willow?”

“I…” I look over at Mama behind him on the ground, and she’s shaking her head again. “I don’t know.”

*Smack*

He backhands me, sending me falling back down to the floor. My cheek is throbbing hot with pain and I can taste blood. My heart is racing. I hate blood.

“How many times are you going to lie to me, you ungrateful little bitch? You’re as bad as your mother.”

“James, stop. Please. She doesn’t know anything.”