Page 60 of I Never Stopped Loving You

“What? Why?”

“I think she’s going back to our hometown.”

I struggle to throw my sweatshirt on, then my jacket. About five minutes ago, she posted a photo on Instagram. It was a long, empty road ahead of her. A road I’m very familiar with, Lakeshore Rd. The snow was falling, and there were no other cars around. Below is a caption that, to most, would just seem like poetry, but to me it was a sign she remembered something.

Never alone with my thoughts.

The nightmares are always there.

“Why would she go back? Is the old house still there?”

“It is. No one lives in it. It’s been empty since she was there, but I know she’s going there.”

“How?”

I pull out my phone and show him the photo. He takes my phone and zooms in on the large brown sign off in the distance.

LAKE PORT STATE PARK

“You fucked with her mind, dude,” he finally says as he hands me back my phone.

“What do you mean?”

“You not only gave her the specific flowers she loved as a kid, but fucking fifteen bouquets of them. What if she’s been perfectly fine going through her life? What if she’s kept those memories tightly sealed away in a bottle in the back of her mind, and you just went in with a sledgehammer and smashed the bottle to pieces.”

“I didn’t…Jeremy, I need her to remember me.”

“Why? Why can’t you just be happy with her now? Start over, make a new life with her. Stop focusing on the fucking past.”

“I told you, there’s something she needs to do. And to do it, she’s going to have to remember the past. Every fucking thing.”

He shakes his head at me before walking toward the door.

“You know I’ve always been on your side, Cuz. Through everything, good or bad. But this…You’re fucking with her head. That much is obvious. Why else would she go back there?”

“She’ll be fine. She’s strong.”

“You don’t know that, Noah. She just got back into your fucking life. How do you know she’s strong? She could be fragile, so close to fucking shattering, and you are causing the cracks to spread. You’re going to break her.”

She won’t break. I know she won’t. My little rabbit is a survivor. She’s going to face the demon of her past, and I’ll be right there with her as I watch her destroy him.

“I have to go.”

“Noah…”

Jeremy grabs onto the arm of my jacket before quickly letting go.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret. If you push her too fast…”

“I won’t. I promise.”

He just nods at me before turning back to the desk and cracking his neck.

“Well…I guess I’ll be here building her desk. I still don’t see why we couldn’t just use one of the other ones from the storage area.”

“Because she deserves more than a used desk that probably has someone’s chewed-up gum smeared on the bottom.”

“Nasty. Remind me to check under my desk later. I don’t want gum getting in Veronica’s hair.”