Page 151 of Seale the Deal

My throat burns. My eyes sting. And still, the words keep coming, because once I start, I can’t stop.

And now she’s been handed the exact opportunity we were trying to get her in the first place. I rub the back of my neck. The worst part is that I love her enough to want her to be happy, but I’m in love with her enough that I want her to stay. And those two things don’t feel very compatible right now.

Walter leans back, nodding slowly, his face unreadable. That’s a lot, Ruger.

My chest tightens, and I let out a humourless laugh. Maybe the stupidest part is that I’m all twisted up about it, and I don’t even know if she loves me too.

Are you being serious right now? Walter asks.

I look at him. What?

Girl’s trying to decide between her literal dream and you, and you’re wondering if she loves you?

I open my mouth.

Then close it again.

For the record, you didn’t fool me with the fake fiancée routine. He uses air quotes around the last three words.

My head jerks, breath catching. We didn’t?

Walter laughs so loud a bird hopping along the patio flies away.

Ruger, I’ve known you since you were a kid, he says. The engagement story never made much sense. Then I met Wrenley and watched the two of you interact. He shrugs. I figured there was more going on than either of you were saying.

But you never said anything.

What would’ve been the point? Walter asks.

I don’t have an answer for that.

Besides, whether it started as a real engagement or not seems to have stopped mattering, he says. But more than that, I’m always behind you, Ruger. I trust that anything you do is done with good intent. And Wrenley fit in here pretty quickly. It wasn’t hard to want to help her, even if I didn’t know the whole story. Walter smiles. She’s one of us now.

Hearing that stings.

I want her to be one of us. I want her teaching sewing classes and stopping by Walter’s for coffee. I want her complaining about the weather and working with Audrey at the shop and rolling her eyes every time Bonnie sticks her nose where it doesn’t belong. I want her to become one of those people who have been here so long nobody can quite remember a time before them.

But wanting something doesn’t make it yours.

What do I do? I ask as I stare out toward the harbour. I’m scared she’s going to leave.

Walter nods. She might.

I’m also scared she won’t, I admit, looking back at Walter. If she stays because of me and spends the next ten years wondering what would’ve happened if she’d taken that job, that’s not exactly a happy ending either.

Walter is quiet for a moment, looking lost in thought.

Then he says, I think you need to get out of her way.

My brows furrow. What do you mean?

Right now, she’s trying to decide her future while sharing a bed with the man she’s in love with, he says. So unless you’re about to go home and tell her that you’re ready to move with her and be happy, then what you need to do is give her space to think without your sad puppy dog eyes making her feel guilty.

I don’t have—

Walter points at me. You do. Trust me. You do.

I lean back in the uncomfortable chair, the metal digging into the middle of my back.