Page 158 of Seale the Deal

Twenty-four hours.

That’s all the time left I have to decide if I’ll walk down that aisle or take a huge career opportunity.

One thing I know for certain: I love Ruger. God, I love him. I wanted to tell him so badly. I still do. My hand keeps reaching for my phone, my thumbs typing out lyrical messages, only to delete them because he asked me to take my time. To be sure.

And I should.

What I came here for and what I found are two entirely different things. This was supposed to be a marriage of convenience. But somewhere along the way, it became something bigger.

Why can’t my brain just let it be enough?

Are you sure you want to do this? Remi asks.

We’re standing in Fabric Delights, waiting for Audrey to come out with the altered wedding dress.

I don’t know, I answer honestly.

And I don’t. At the end of the day, if I want to stay here, I have to go through with this wedding or say yes to Tammie. And I still haven’t made a choice. Distance hasn’t necessarily made it easier, but I have noticed that life without Ruger is a lot less fun in many ways. The sex is mind-blowing, sure, but it’s more than that. He comes up with wacky date plans like cutting wood and shooting guns. He takes care of me without asking or expecting anything in return. What are the chances I’ll find that again, all wrapped up in a sexy, tall, lumberjack-esque bow?

On the flip side of that, can I truly sacrifice my career for a man again?

Tears prick my eyes, and I blink, trying to keep them inside my body.

Okay! Audrey bursts into the back room, carrying the dress. It’s all taken in. Mom’s on her way, and then we’ll do a final try-on. Wrenley—hey. Are you okay?

Her voice wobbles through my haze. My eyes are so blurry with tears, the fabric in her arms looks like a watercolour smear.

Sweetie, Audrey says gently. I know we’re cutting it close, but it’s done. It’s stunning.

I shake my head, choking on air. It’s not that. It’s— My throat locks, my chest tightening like a vise. Suddenly, I can’t breathe.

Oh God. I can’t breathe.

Wren! Remi jumps up and rushes to me. Audrey drops the dress and follows, while Remi grabs my trembling hands, her eyes locking on mine. Breathe with me. In… and out.

I try to follow, but my breaths come jagged and painful.

What’s going on? Beryl’s voice cuts through, calm but concerned.

Panic attack, I think, Audrey says quickly.

Beryl peers at me, her weathered face soft with concern. The pre-wedding jitters that bad, child? You going to be alright?

I manage to draw in one shaky lungful of air. And then as I look at the two women who’ve poured so much love and effort into me, into this dress, into this entire instance plan, the truth caves out of me.

No.

No? Audrey echoes, startled.

I look at Remi, who looks so concerned it makes my chest ache. I can’t keep doing this to everyone. I have to be honest and say the full truth because keeping it inside isn’t working anymore.

I squeeze my eyes shut because I can’t bear to watch their faces when I admit it. There might not be a wedding. My lip quivers so hard it hurts. It wasn’t real. Ruger and me—it wasn’t real.

Silence stretches, heavy and fragile.

What do you mean? Audrey asks softly.

And so I tell them.