Page 3 of Seale the Deal

You also live in a small town, I add. Won’t people think it’s weird you’ve never mentioned dating anyone, let alone being engaged?

Hm. Remi frowns thoughtfully. You not having a penis is also going to be a problem.

What?

Shh. She waves me off, brows knitting as she stares into the middle distance, clearly already problem-solving.

I recognize that look. It’s the same expression she once wore right before convincing me to hike three kilometres through Alaska bush and snow because the northern lights were vibing.

I’ve got it! she says.

My stomach drops.

My brother!

Ruger? I ask.

Yeah. Him.

I stare at her for a full three seconds. I barely know your brother.

You know he’s employed, reasonably attractive, and unlikely to murder you in the woods, Remi says. That’s already more promising than half the couples on this show.

Remi.

What?

You’re suggesting I commit immigration fraud with a man who once watched me lose a battle against fleece-lined pants.

The embarrassing memory of me trying to pull pants on over my Smartwool leggings before ultimately falling sideways into the garbage bags Remi had left by the front door still haunts me.

Remi shrugs. Technically, I’m suggesting you temporarily marry a man who already likes you enough to stop you from freezing to death.

That’s not better.

You could come to Alaska for six months tomorrow if you wanted, she says with a shrug. But then what? You can’t legally work long term. You’d just be delaying the problem.

My stomach twists because, annoyingly, she has a point.

But there’s still Montreal.

Oh, screw Montreal, she says. You don’t even speak French.

Again, another point for Remi.

Okay, but let’s be realistic. There’s still paperwork, I argue. Interviews. Background checks. They literally investigate your relationship.

Which is why Ruger makes sense, Remi says. You’ve met him, so we have a few photos of you two together.

I’m sneezing in one of them, I point out. And Ruger looks both disgusted and alarmed.

Nothing a little Photoshop can’t fix.

I stare at her. Oh God. I can literally see the future jail cell waiting for me.

You’re being really dramatic, Remi says.

I think I’m being reasonable, I counter. Photos aside, if the town would be suspicious of you and me dating, won’t they be suspicious of me and him?