Page 257 of Mile High Ruin

He looks at Leonid, then at me, and he takes enough time with the answer that I know he’s not giving me something rehearsed.

“That I will make the wrong choice again because I convince myself I know what is best for you.”

“You probably will make wrong choices sometimes,” I say.

“I know.”

“So will I.”

“I know that too.”

“And we can’t keep turning every wrong choice into a war.”

His mouth moves slightly. “I will try.”

“That sounded painful.”

“It was.”

I laugh, and my eyes burn because I’m exhausted, because my hormones are probably still trying to ruin my life, because after all these months I’m standing beside him with our son in my arms and no one is bleeding or lying or running.

“I love you,” I say.

Vadim goes still in that contained way of his, the one that sends shivers down my spine.

“I should have said it before,” I continue. “I wanted to more than once, but everything between us was such a mess, and then I was angry, and then I was scared, and then I thought saying it would only make me weaker.”

He watches me without interrupting.

“I loved you when I left,” I say. “That was the hardest part. I kept telling myself I hated you, but I didn’t. I hated what happened, and I hated what I thought you had done, and I hated that I missed you anyway. Then I found out I was pregnant, and I was terrified, but I was also glad, because I still had some part of you with me.”

Vadim’s face changes, and for once he doesn’t hide it quickly enough.

“I love you,” he says. “I don’t think I did it well.”

“No,” I say. “You really didn’t.”

A quiet sound leaves him, almost a laugh. “I know.”

“But you kept fighting for me,” I say. “Even when you were angry, even when you thought terrible things about me, you kept looking. You stayed when I needed you. You saved Ethan. You made sure Leonid had every chance. You brought Mila home. I know you’re not suddenly harmless, Vadim, and I don’t need harmless. I need honest. I need you to trust me enough to ask before you decide my life for me.”

“I can do that.”

I raise an eyebrow.

He exhales. “I can learn to do that.”

“Better.”

He looks down for a moment, then reaches into his coat. For one ridiculous second, because it’s him, I think it might be a weapon. Instead, he takes out a ring box.

I stare at it. “Vadim.”

“I was going to wait.”

“This is you waiting?”

“For me, yes.”