Page 23 of A Surprise Baby for the Russian

Raya: also feel free to remind him I’m an adult and trying to make the best choices for myself. I’m trying to avoid getting kidnapped again, you know? Love you x

Sofie: I get it x Love you too x

I put the phone down and stare at my book. It’s no use. There’s no chance of me concentrating now.

The clock on the wall ticks loudly. I make myself go through the motions: I stand up, stretch, walk to the window, and look out at the massive garden. From the kitchen, I can hear Yakov’s voice. He sounds pissed.

“I don’t give a fuck what he told you. I care what he did.” There’s a pause while he’s obviously listening to who’s on the other end. “Those crates left Odessa, accounted for by my contacts there. Three have gone missing on his watch, not for the first time. He had three days to make it right, which was pretty fucking generous. Keep him breathing; I want to know where my guns are. He needs to be lucid enough to answer. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

I stay still by the window, my back to the kitchen, pretending I’m watching the birds and not actually listening to the man who is my husband basically make an appointment to go and torture someone for information. He comes through a moment later and asks whether I want anything from the store, as he’s going to do a run.

He is, in all ways, the perfect captor: efficient, considerate, and possessed of an almost pathological need to take responsibility for my well-being, which seems entirely at odds with the darker side of him. I don’t know how he manages it; I know my brothers are the same. Regardless, some traitorous part of me is starting to enjoy the safety of his orbit.

***

That evening, the silence in the house gets too loud, so I call Selene. She answers on the very first ring, her voice flooded with immediate relief. She’s been managing my brother Simon, which means she’s probably exhausted.

“Are you okay?” she asks quickly, her tone sharp with worry. “Actually okay, Raya? Not putting on a brave face?”

“I’m actually okay, Selene. I promise.”

“Thank God.” She lets out a breath, and I hear the rustle of the phone changing hands. “Matvei obviously hasn’t stopped talking about you being shot at, and Yakov. Simon’s tried telling him to let you do it your way, but are you sure you don’t want to come home yet? I text Yakov; he says he’s okay. Is he okay?”

“We’re fine; he’s healing fine. This house feels a lot safer, more hidden away. We’re okay.”

“Okay, love you. Simon wants to talk to you. Hold on.”

When Simon’s voice comes through the line, it is controlled in that rigid way that tells me he is exerting an extraordinary amount of effort not to scream. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Simon.”

“Is he looking after you?”

“Yes.”

“Raya.”

“Simon, stop. I promise I am fine. Better than fine, really, considering everything.” Because Simon is the brother I’m closest to, I let a little more honesty slip through. “You know I’m not a hostage, Simon. I just… You know, living with all the security you put on me after the kidnapping with the twins, I understood it, but I still found it suffocating, and still Yakov’s father managed to get to me. It scares me, Simon. It scares me to come back there and not know if it will happen again. This is far from ideal, I know, but weirdly, I feel safer than I have in a long time. I don’t think Matvei gets it.

Simon sighs down the phone. “I know how you’re feeling, Raya, probably more than most.” Coming from him, who has watched Selene go through something not so different, means a lot. I know it’s not empty words to placate me. “You’re not crazy to feel that way, and it doesn’t make you disloyal either.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, trying to hold back the warmth filling my eyes.

“It doesn’t mean I’m not furious about the whole situation. Now, when can I expect a call from Yakov?”

“Soon,” I tell him, my voice firm despite the flutter in my chest. “I’ll make sure he calls you.”

“For what it’s worth... Selene trusts him, and if she trusts him, well, that’s most of the way to enough. She thinks he’ll keep you safe. I haven’t forgotten what he did for her.” That’s about as close to a blessing as I’m going to get out of my brother. I stand to go find Yakov. He’s still at the kitchen table, his laptop screen casting a pale blue glow over his sharp jawline.

“You need to call Simon,” I tell him, leaning against the doorframe.

“I know.”

“Sooner rather than later, Yakov. He’s losing his patience.”

“I’ll call him tomorrow.”

I look directly into his stormy eyes, refusing to back down. “Today would be better.”