Page 70 of Too Guarded to Love

“The day of my mom’s funeral, I played the best game of my life. No pressure. No expectations, and I fed off knowing I never had to please her again. I only had to perform for me, and man, did I start performing. I was a freshman on varsity, a feat unheard of in our county, which treated baseball as a religion. By the end of the season, college scouts were talking to my coaches.”

Olivia touched his cheek. “I bet you were magic behind the plate.”

“I was magic, and not just because others said shit like that and it went to my head. I felt it in here.” He placed his fist over his heart and let himself feel the tendrils of joy floating in the bitterness clogging his throat.

“Baseball wasn’t just my golden ticket; it was my lifeline, but the foster parents I was placed with when I was thirteen didn’t care about my bright future or my big dreams. They cared about having a strong kid to do manual labor on their farm. My foster father, the meanest son of a bitch I’d ever met, told me if I stayed out of trouble and got my chores done, we would all get along fine. If not, there’d be consequences.”

“Those consequences were taking away baseball, weren’t they?”

He curled his steel fingers into a tight ball. As he smacked his palm, he heard the thud of the ball meeting a catcher’s mitt. Felt the impact vibrate down his arm. Smelled the heady scent of oiled leather and tasted dirt in his teeth as he squatted for the next pitch.

Fuck, for the first time, he missed the game. “Fitting in baseball and acing my classes to up my chances of a scholarship was hard with their long-ass-shit list of demands, but I did it and never complained.”

“Until Natalie got you into trouble.”

“Yeah. It didn’t matter that my teachers and principal believed I was innocent. What mattered was that situation made me slack on my chores.” The tears that he hadn’t let show back then formed in his eyes. “The bastard burned my baseball things in a bonfire. I never played again.”

“I’m so sorry.” She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I can’t imagine growing up like that.”

Pulling her closer, he nuzzled his nose in her hair and breathed in her scent. “I’m glad you can’t. You grew up with unconditional love. I’ve always had conditions, and not just for love and acceptance—for survival. I guess that’s why I gravitated to the military. I’m good at taking orders and doing my job well because I understand the consequences if I don’t.”

And sometimes those consequences were his own happiness. His job was to protect Olivia, not fuck her and say thanks for a good time when she left. More than just their hearts were at risk. And what were the chances they’d find a happily ever after like Chris and Scarlett and Kane and Beth? Olivia deserved a man who could give her everything, not a pieced-together soldier too terrified to take a chance because he’d been guarded for so long.

He gently unwrapped her arms from around his neck and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Wait a minute, Captain.” She planted her hands on her hips. “You keep talking about consequences. Are you afraid there will be consequences, like damaging your relationship with my brother, if you embrace whatever is going on between us?”

He swiped a finger down her cheek. “Smart, beautiful, and intuitive.”

“Don’t worry about my stupid twin.” She cradled Nic’s face in her hands. “I say screw what he thinks and ride out what’s going on between us.”

Nic’s cock twitched against his utility pants as he gripped her wrists. The desire he’d been holding back pulsed in his veins like a living creature. “If you keep saying words like screw and ride, you’ll be flat on your back before you can get the next sexual innuendo out of those pretty lips.”

And he’d be screwed too because he wouldn’t be able to resist her, despite the consequences she didn’t think were a possibility, but still scared him half to death.

She let go of him and grabbed the hem of his T-shirt. “How’s this for innuendo?” She pulled the material up. “Permission requested to fuck you, soldier.”