Page 16 of Crowned In Sin

Two guards on horseback trail me at a respectful distance. After a while, I’m numb to it, but not completely. My mind is plagued with the thoughts of last night and I drift off.

I think about the man in my bed over and over. The grounds are green and lush ahead of me, with a forest on one side and a meadow on the other, and even surrounded by this beauty, my mind keeps returning to those few minutes I spent with a stranger in the dark.

Of the most shocking feelings is the pride. I’ve chosen my own suitor for the first time in my life. It was my decision and no one else’s. Well apart from the stranger in the shadows who indulged in the act with me. Loosening the reins and allowing Galen to pull into a full stride, I wonder if he’ll be there today. I wonder if he’s waiting for me. Surely he enjoyed himself as well? I wonder if he would enjoy it again.

“Does he count as a stranger now that we’ve been together?” I whisper comically to my horse, who pays no attention to me.

I do not count as a stranger to him, I decide. He knows my body intimately. He could see the way I moved and feel how I reacted. He knows much more of me than I know of him.

I take a deep breath and urge my horse on faster.

The man in the shadows could be any man at court, and the only way I would know is if he spoke to me. But he did not, although the groans of pleasure he made will be etched into my memory forever.

I tip my face to the sun and let the breeze blow through my hair.

Though I was heated and not completely in control of myself when I spoke the words in the sitting room, it was what I wanted. I wanted to be taken. I wanted to know the pleasure of being fucked by a man before I got married. It was shocking to find that I have such power over a man. It was shocking to find that he wanted me—it seems—as much as I wanted him.

Yes, there were times when I was afraid. I was afraid he would not come, and I was afraid he would come, and I was afraid I would somehow disappoint him.

But in many ways, it was the perfect encounter. He did not speak, and I did my best to muffle my sounds. It was dangerous for us to speak, so I could not embarrass myself. My body showed him what I desired, and he gave me more of it.

He gave me more of…him.

It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, and it did not happen by chance. It happened because I asked for it, and the man in the shadows—whoever he is—gave it to me.

It’s scary to be given what you want. I did not know that so clearly until now. I was so nervous, but I was also exhilarated and thrilled and—in the end—I was satisfied. I was not left wanting more.

Not in the moment, anyway. Now, as I speed across the green grass on my horse, I can feel want growing in me. I want another visit at night. I would accept a blindfold, if it was necessary.

Would the man wish to be my lover? The only harm would be in getting caught. But if I do not accept a hand, and it appears there are none waiting for me, I can live my life as I wish.

I want more of the pleasure that man can offer, and I am not so certain that I can find it with anyone else.

I let out a sound of frustration. If I try to find him, what will happen? He will disappear into the shadows. If he thinks I’m trying to force him to reveal himself, then he might vanish, never to be seen again.

Then he really would be a dream. Nothing but a fantasy I had one night. It would be as if I were alone in my bed, making it up in my head.

I could spend the rest of my life looking for someone who could measure up, but⁠—

A sound behind me finally gets my attention.

“Princess!” I pull the reigns of my horse back and Galen comes to an abrupt stop, protesting with a shake of his head. One of the guards is calling. I think he must have called for me several times. I bring my horse up short and hold my hand up to him.

“Princess,” he shouts again, riding hard for me.

The guard arrives a few moments later.

“Princess,” he says, and swings off his horse to kneel. “Your father has alerted me. Your presence is required. He’d like to prepare you for several offers of marriage.”

“I’m sorry?” I question breathlessly. There was no one who showed interest. Surely there must be a mistake.

“The letters have only just arrived today. They will begin arriving within the week.”

My heart plummets and my hands go numb.

“Princess Cora.” The guard looks questioningly at me. “This is good news,” he assures me.

“Yes,” I answer him before swallowing thickly. “I’ll see to my father at once.”