Page 78 of Beastly Mountain Man

Lucky turned slightly toward me.

“That sounds like the beginning of something complicated.”

“It probably is.”

I drew one knee closer and rested my hand around it.

“My mother works in corporate communications. Senior level. My father’s in banking and wealth management. They’re both very successful, and they worked incredibly hard for everything they built.”

Lucky listened.

“They love my brother and me. We had good schools, good clothes, opportunities, everything we needed. If there was something they could provide, they provided it.”

“But?”

I smiled faintly. “There was always a but.”

The fire settled behind the screen with a soft crack.

“They were busy. A lot. And the expectation in our family was that capable people handled things. You did well in school. You kept yourself organized. You didn’t create unnecessary problems. If something needed doing, you did it.”

“You were the oldest.”

“Yes.”

That fact alone seemed to explain something to him, although he was polite enough not to pretend it explained everything.

“My brother followed his own version of it. Law school. Very driven. We’re different people, but neither of us exactly grew up believing that drifting through life was a respectable option.”

Lucky’s fingers moved lightly over my shoulder.

“Do you wish they’d done it differently?”

The question surprised me.

I thought about it before answering.

“Some things, yes. But I don’t wish they were different people. My mother is brilliant at what she does. My father genuinely loves his work. They built lives they were proud of. I understand that.”

I looked at my own hands.

“I also think I learned very early that being easy to be proud of was safer than needing too much.”

Lucky stayed quiet.

That helped.

I didn’t need him to hurry me toward a conclusion.

“When I did well, everybody was happy. When I handled something myself, that was good. When I stayed composed, even better. Somewhere along the way I started treating usefulness like insurance.”

“Against what?”

I let out a slow breath.

“Against disappointing people, I suppose. Against being the problem.”

Lucky’s arm shifted from the back of the couch to around my shoulders, not to stop me talking, just to bring me closer.