Page 161 of Godless Saints

Under the table his hand kept finding my knee. Not for comfort. Pure control. Like one wrong word out of my mouth would blow the whole house apart and somehow become his mess to clean up.

He watched Yuna the same way, ready to catch anything before it could land wrong. Apologized for shit that wasn’t even his fault. Ate too little.

Even with me he pulled back. Fewer touches. Less bite in his voice. Less us. Like loving me out loud in that house was just another thing they could use to punish him.

They didn’t even have to yell. They only had to exist, and he folded. Twenty-five years of hearing that.

My thumb kept working slow circles over the same tight spot, pressing heat into his skin. I didn’t push. Didn’t demand he explain. Just let him feel the difference.

I wasn’t them.

And I wasn’t fucking leaving.

Moon’s teeth caught his bottom lip. “When we get married… can it just be us? Run away somewhere,” he added, almost whispering.

“Whatever you need, baby.” I dug my thumb deeper into that knot. “Though you’ll disappoint my mother. She can’t wait to meet you. Pretty sure she’s already planning the whole fucking thing.”

One corner of his mouth trembled. “Your family sounds really good.”

“They are.”

The car went fucking quiet.

Then, so quiet I almost missed it, he said, “They told me I was an embarrassment.”

My thumb stopped. He wouldn’t meet my eyes. I yanked the car onto the shoulder and killed the engine. My hands shot out, clamping hard around his jaw and yanking his face toward me.

“Hey. Look at me.”

His hands flew up, grabbing my wrists, nails digging in as he tried to shove me off.

“I don’t want you seeing me like this,” he rasped. “I never should’ve brought you here.”

I didn’t let go.

I gripped harder, thumbs pressing deep into his cheeks, forcing his head still while he strained and pushed against me. I was done. Done watching him crawl and shrink and apologize for breathing in that house.

“No. Fuck that.” My voice dropped low, the accent cutting sharp. “All this shame crawling through you? You’ve got nothing to apologize for. Nothing to be ashamed of. Fuck them. Fuck every last one of them.”

I leaned in until our foreheads slammed together, eyes burning into his, breathing hard through my teeth.

“What you and I are doesn’t concern a single one of those cunts. I will turn this car around right fucking now, walk back in there, and tell every single one of them exactly where they can shove their legacy and their opinions. I swear on my mother’s life, Moon, nobody gets to hurt you. I’ll put every last one of them in the ground if I have to.”

His hands tightened on my arms, still pushing, but weaker now. “No—wait,” he whispered. “Let’s not go back. Please.”

I kept one hand on his jaw, thumb stroking rough over his damp cheeks, chest heaving.

“Then stop fucking hiding from me,” I growled. “Give it to me. All of it. I’ll fucking kill it for you.”

A moody Korean track filtered through the radio. I reached over and turned it up without letting go of his face.

“Listen. It’s your favorite.”

Moon let out a small, dry laugh and finally looked at me, eyes glassy. “How do you even know that?”

“Because I pay attention.”

I glanced at him once more, then pulled back onto the road. His family was still in the car with us, even miles away.