Page 70 of The Wedding Pact

‘But what if you miss noticing the person you’re meant to be with because you’re too busy looking down at that thing?’ she asks, gesturing at my laptop.

‘That’s not something I’m worried about.’

‘You really aren’t worried you’ll leave everyone behind – or that they’ll leave you – and you’ll be lonely?’

‘It’s not going to be forever, this pace of working.’

‘You sure about that? I see how much of a buzz you get out of it. You don’t think you’ll get obsessed with reaching the next big number?’

‘I can control it.’

‘Really? I mean, you don’t seem to have any idea about what enough is.’

I press my mouth into a smile. ‘Not right now, maybe. But it’s going to be fun finding out.’

She blows out a long breath. ‘Yeah. Maybe.’

‘You don’t agree?’

Instead of answering that, she says, ‘Okay. One more question for you. Who is it you’re competing with?’

‘Myself mostly. I’ve always wanted to push my limits. Prove to myself I can be successful on my own merits. Be the “Black Sheep” who proved everyone else wrong about them.’ I let out a low snort, suddenly uncomfortable with the way that line of thinking is going. I don’t want to talk about my family dynamics again right now. ‘Though, there is one guy who I’ve been chasing up the rich list that I’d love to beat,’ I say, to swerve the subject. ‘He’s a real arsehole; a misogynist and a total beast to the people who work for him. I’d love to get a bigger number than him. He’d hate to be overtaken by me. He’s never liked me. The tosser.’

Ida lets out a bark of laughter at that. ‘Wow. It really is all about those numbers.’

‘Yep. At its most basic level. I think it often is with guys. More currency, more notches on the bedpost, more inches, like you say.’ I wink at her.

‘You’re blowing my mind,’ Ida says with heavy irony in her voice.

‘It’s about respect earned, when it comes down to it. It doesn’t necessarily matter what the thing is, as long as you have more of it than the next guy.’

‘So, it’s all just a big, grown-up game?’ she says. ‘You’re competing to complete levels and win by getting the highest score – or the biggest number of pounds, in your case?’

‘As a gaming fan, I approve of that analogy.’

‘But when you’re as wealthy as you are doesn’t everything lose its meaning? You can have anything at all in the world that you want, so how can you value things if everything’s up for grabs?’

I frown at that. It’s a good point. ‘Not everything is,’ I counter, uncomfortable with the way this conversation has turned again. ‘People aren’t.’

‘Some people are.’

‘But you can’t buy love. You can buy adoration and respect, but not love. That has to be earned another way.’

She nods at that. ‘Truth.’

Picking up the drink on the table next to us, I toast her with it, then swallow a big gulp of it to try and relieve the tension in my throat, before putting it back.

‘It must be so weird being you,’ Ida says after a moment of silence.

‘Thanks,’ I say dryly.

‘I don’t mean you’re weird. Just that you have different boundaries to the rest of us.’

‘I’d like to think I still have the same boundaries as other people.’

‘How can you? When you know you can buy your way out of any trouble you get into.’

‘Only to a point. Even billionaires aren’t allowed to commit murder with impunity,’ I point out.