Page 41 of Fate Fiction

“Goodnight Sue.” I flashed her the sign for “I love you,” which she reciprocated.

For a few minutes the only sound was the rustling of trees in the breeze and the crackling of the flames. All that was left was Evan. The fire. And me.

“Are you gonna hang out here any longer or are you heading in too?” Evan broke the spell. “The stars are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I can’t stop looking at them.”

It was impossible to not want to stay with him, the fire was still going strong and the stars were really that beautiful. Maybe it was selfish to want to stay here with him and steal pieces of him for myself.

“They’re crazy, right?” I replied. “I can definitely stargaze for a bit.” I craned my neck up at the sky.

We sat in silence looking up, both gasping in excitement when a shooting star would pass by.

“It reminds me of how the sky looks back home, though this far surpasses that even, I didn’t realize the night sky could look like this, as sad as it sounds,” he paused and scratched at his chin a bit. “In the city I’m lucky if I see a single star, and it usually winds up being an airplane.”

“You know, it sounds odd but I get scared every time I come here that the stars will have somehow disappeared and the sky will look like it does in Boston. Sad and empty.”

He nodded along, I didn’t notice right away that he had moved into the chair next to mine. His hand was resting on the arm, fingers drumming again. “How could you not want to be here all the time, Dani?”

He asked it with a sad sincerity. Him saying my name still instilled some sort of spellbinding sensation in my gut.

The truth was, I did want to be at camp all the time, but I knew if I never left it wouldn’t be my safe haven anymore. Where could I escape to if I was always here?

“I’m scared that if I do it’ll lose its magic,” I said after some brief pondering. “And honestly I need to live somewhere where I can get a decent coffee within a seventy five mile radius.” Evan chuckled at the reply and rapped the arm of his chair a bit.

“I don’t want to leave this place,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to go back to the chaos of being among the general public.”

I couldn’t even begin to empathize with what Evan must deal with on a daily basis. As much as I needed an escape, he truly needed to get off the grid for a while, that much I could sympathize with.

“I feel like I became the real version of myself once I pulled down the driveway,” he continued. “I haven’t once had to worry about constantly checking my surroundings, save for running into you, of course.”

I smiled weakly, hoping the darkness would hide my blush.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like,” I didn’t know what else to say, I was nothing more than another faceless figure in that crowd of fans.

“I probably sound so out of touch, I’m grateful for everything I’ve gotten in life, but sometimes I want to go out for coffee without having phones shoved in my face, or strangers acting like they know me,” I remained silent as he spoke, “I know it’s the trope of the sad celebrity who hates being a celebrity, but I really do hate it most days. I wish I could do my job without the ensuing insanity, because I love my work, I just hate being…me. Everyone is so fake and seeking out the next big thing, I don’t know if people want to be around me because they like me or only like my status.”

A hot steel ball dropped into my gut as his words settled. How easily he said he hated being “the” Evan McLeod. Did I want to be around Evan for these same superficial reasons? I was terrified that I didn’t know the answer.

The fire had burned into embers at this point, radiating an orange and red pulsating glow.

“Sorry for all that,” he continued after taking a deep inhale. “I remember someone saying something about not wanting to spill their heart out to someone they’ve only known for thirty hours.”

“I don’t think the ‘sad celebrity’ speech counts,” I quipped, hoping it would lighten the mood. “I expected that, maybe not on the first night…”

“Oh, fuck off,” his words were tight, as was the strained laugh he let out.

The red dock jutting out on the lake below us gently bobbed up and down from the waves. The first time Nick and I came up to camp we laid on the dock stargazing for hours, talking about nothing together. I wanted to talk about nothing with Evan. I didn’t trust my motivations still, but I knew that I wanted easy conversation and more banter with him.

My avoidant side told me that the fire was done, so therefore the evening was, but there wasn’t any harm in asking if he wanted to go lay out there.

He clearly needed a sounding board at the very least.

“Now that the fire’s dead, do you want to sit out at the dock?” I asked. “Once your eyes adjust it’s like you’re in your own personal planetarium.”

He turned towards me and his eyes brightened. “Let’s do it. No eight mile hikes on tomorrow’s agenda, we can live a little tonight.”

I dispersed the embers with a stick and we walked down to the dock. Our footsteps echoed across the water as they stepped on each board. I settled onto the wood planks and drew my knees close to my chest. The moon reflected a gentle halo at the far end of the lake. In the distance, out of the quiet, a loon called its mournful song.

“Jesus, what was that?” Evan exclaimed, he jerked up his head from resting on his arm as he laid on his back.