Page 34 of Never Gonna Happen

Kelly narrowed her eyes. ‘Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?’

‘I have loads to tell you, but now isn’t the time.’

Kelly nodded, mollified for now. ‘Are you here for New Year?’

‘Yeah,’ said Emily. ‘Can I come over?’

‘Sure. We’ll get Beth off to bed and have a party for two.’

‘Why do I have to go to bed?’ asked Beth. ‘I want to have a party.’

‘What about a hot chocolate instead?’ asked Emily.

Beth thought about it for a moment, chewing the end of her grubby finger. ‘Can I have a hot chocolate AND a party?’

Jamie wandered over after a few minutes, putting his arm around Emily in a boyfriendly way. It instantly made her feel a bit anxious, but she couldn’t deny that it felt nice.

‘You must be Kelly,’ he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’

Kelly gave him her best smile. ‘I haven’t heard nearly enough about you, but the day is young.’

Emily glared at Kelly, but Jamie seemed unfazed. ‘I’ve been invited to the pub with your family,’ he said to Emily. ‘Is that a good idea?’

‘It’s a very bad idea,’ interrupted Kelly. ‘They’ll almost certainly meet my parents in Mulligan’s and they’ll all be absolutely hammered on Guinness by teatime.’

‘Are your family Irish?’ asked Jamie.

Kelly grabbed a hank of her dyed scarlet hair and held it away from her head. ‘What, you think this isn’t real?’

‘It’s up to you,’ said Emily, trying to imagine how she might behave if Jamie was her actual boyfriend. ‘We’re just going to mooch about the shops for a bit, so you’re welcome to come with us. Or you can go to the pub. You can always leave if it’s getting heavy, say we’ve arranged to meet up.’

‘Good idea,’ said Jamie. ‘I’ll do that.’

He gave Emily an awkward kiss on the cheek, then turned to Kelly. ‘By the way, I’m definitely putting “sexpot orphan” on my CV.’

Kelly hooted with laughter as he walked away.

‘I like him,’ she said. ‘Right, let’s go shopping. Have you bought my present yet?’

‘There’s a whole bag for you and Beth in the car,’ said Emily, ‘I’ll give it to you later. I’d quite like to get something for Jamie.’

‘What does he like? Other than you butt-naked on horseback like Lady Godiva.’

‘Jesus, Kel,’ laughed Emily. ‘But yes. He likes horses.’

‘OK. So something outdoorsy, then. Maybe a nice scarf?’

‘Fine, but it needs to be a posh one.’

‘Why?’ asked Kelly. ‘He doesn’t seem that posh.’

You have no idea, thought Emily, dragging her friend off in the direction of a shop that sold men’s designer labels. Maybe Ted Baker would work, something a bit fancy but still OK to get splattered with mud and shit.

Jamie reappeared a couple of hours later, very obviously a bit drunk, but also happy to give Beth a shoulder ride back to the car. Emily offered to drive Kelly and Beth home so they didn’t have to get the last bus on Christmas Eve, trying not to care what Jamie might think of Kelly’s battered mobile home on a caravan park on the outskirts of town. If he was surprised or shocked he said nothing, instead helping them inside with their bags of presents and shopping before wishing them both a Merry Christmas.

‘You love those two a lot, don’t you?’ he asked as they drove back towards town.

Emily nodded. ‘Kelly’s been my best friend since the day we started primary school. She’s smart and funny and the kindest person I know. She’s just had a shit time of it.’