Page 31 of The Only Way Is Up

Daisy nodded happily, marvelling at how quickly her life had reached a point where drinking instant coffee out of a thermos in an abattoir car park gave her more joy than the coolest cafés in London.

Daisy pressed the doorbell of the rectory with sweaty palms, wondering why this encounter with Gerald felt so high stakes. Of course, Ruby would be disappointed if Will couldn’t come skiing, but it was hardly parenting fail of the year. She’d acknowledge that Daisy had done her best and they’d have a lovely holiday anyway, just as they always did. She checked her watch – Melanie did the church flowers at 12.30 on a Tuesday, and they’d agreed that Daisy would turn up ten minutes later, then message when it was safe for Melanie to return home. Daisy didn’t feel great about railroading Gerald, but you couldn’t appeal to the better nature of somebody who didn’t have one, could you?

Gerald answered the door with a predatory grin, like he’d known it was only a matter of time before Daisy would be lured to the rectory by his animal magnetism. Daisy repressed a shudder and gave him her best primetime TV smile.

‘Hello, Gerald. So sorry to bother you.’

‘My dear Daisy, what a lovely surprise. I’m afraid Melanie has gone out.’

Daisy cranked the smile up a notch. ‘Well, I actually came to see you. Do you have a minute?’

‘Yes, of course.’ Gerald stepped to one side with a flourish, like Hugh Hefner opening the door to the Playboy Mansion. ‘Do come in.’

‘Do you mind if we take a walk around the churchyard instead?’ Daisy replied cheerfully, already stepping away. ‘It’s so nice to get some fresh air. I’ve just got back from a slaughterhouse.’ Today’s heavy skies were now accompanied by a biting wind, but nothing was going to tempt Daisy over that threshold.

‘Oh. Yes. Why not?’ said Gerald gamely, grabbing a Barbour jacket and a pair of leather strangler’s gloves from the coat rack by the door. Daisy led him through the wooden gate at the side of the house into the oldest section of the churchyard, where gravestones crusted with moss and lichen listed sideways like drunk old men. The ground was hard with frost and the church looked bleak and forbidding. Snow was forecast before the weekend, although it wasn’t expected to amount to much.

Gerald closed the gate and fell into step beside her, close enough that his shoulder brushed hers. He steered her towards the back of the churchyard, which was hidden from the rectory and the road by the looming stone hulk of the church.

‘So, Daisy, what can I do you for you?’

‘I wanted to ask you something. A favour, actually.’

‘I can’t imagine ever saying no to a woman like you.’ Gerald rested his gloved hand on her arm. ‘Fire away, my dear, fire away.’

A few minutes later Gerald’s face was thunderous, but Daisy had to admire how well he was keeping his cool.

‘Just so I’m clear,’ said Gerald through gritted teeth and narrowed eyes, ‘you’d like to take my wife and my son on an all-expenses-paid skiing holiday. On Friday.’

Daisy smiled winningly. ‘I would. I know it’s short notice, but the opportunity only just came up and it would make my daughter very happy. And your son, I should think.’

‘And why exactly does my wife need to go?’ The sharpness of Gerald’s tone could slice holes in the frigid air.

‘Because I think it would be more appropriate. For Will. He’s only seventeen, and it seems only right and proper that his mother should be there.’ Gerald continued to look mutinous, so she continued. ‘And if I’m being entirely selfish, it would be lovely company for me, too. Usually, Ruby and I spend our holiday time together, but I suspect she’s going to want to be with Will – you know how teenagers are?’ Daisy giggled, although she found it hard to be believe that Gerald had ever been a teenager. He gave the impression of being born in a tweed shooting jacket and raised by wolves.

‘Melanie and I have become friends and I’m sure we’ll be good company for each other.’ Daisy had vague hopes on this point, but it was by no means guaranteed. The whole thing felt like a huge minefield, frankly, and she inwardly cursed Ruby for the fiftieth time since breakfast.

Gerald’s eyes narrowed. ‘Well, it’s most unusual. And I have to say I feel rather cornered. Perhaps you’d give me some time to think about it.’

‘Is your concern the cost?’ asked Daisy. ‘You really needn’t worry: it’s all taken care of.’

Gerald shook his head hurriedly. ‘No, it’s not the cost, of course. I’d be happy—’

Daisy spotted the advantage and seized it. ‘Because obviously I’ve already spoken to Melanie and she would love to come. Will doesn’t know anything about it yet. Clearly we didn’t want to get his hopes up if there was an issue. So I came to see you and I wanted to set your mind at ease about the cost. I know you’re an honourable man.’

Gerald’s chest instinctively puffed with pride. ‘Well, of course, but it’s not just—’

‘Surely Melanie doesn’t need your permission to accept my offer?’ asked Daisy, her eyes full of concern and confusion.

Gerald shuffled awkwardly, shifting his weight as he tried to find a foothold on the conversation. ‘Well, no . . . of course not.’

‘Well, that’s wonderful,’ smiled Daisy. ‘I’m so glad it’s all settled. Your hesitation does you credit, Gerald – most people would bite my arm off for a free holiday without giving it a second thought. I truly appreciate it.’

Gerald looked confused, as if he couldn’t work out how the conversation had got away from him. ‘Well, obviously, when you put it like that.’ He paused for a moment. ‘Of course, I’ll need to track down their passports. I have no idea if they’re still in date so that might be a small problem.’

‘No need,’ Daisy smiled. ‘Melanie has already given them to me. There’s so little time to organise everything. I must thank you, Gerald, my daughter will be so thrilled. You’re a good man.’ Daisy gave him her most dazzling, magazine cover-grade smile and hurried away through the churchyard before he could say anything else. She really should consider a new career in trade negotiations or peacekeeping. Maybe the United Nations would have her when the TV gods finally threw her on the scrapheap.

Daisy plugged her debit card details into the Swissair website and held her breath as the payment portal stuck for a few seconds, then finally flashed up a confirmation message. She let the air out slowly, then picked up a pen and ticked ‘flights’ off the list in front of her. There were a few other things to do, but that was the most important. The seats for Will and Melanie had cost twice what she’d paid for her and Ruby, but if Ruby was happy, especially when everything else was still so messy, it was worth it.