Page 87 of The Only Way Is Up

‘What kind of gossip?’ Tom looked a little uneasy. ‘Like you’re going to be the new presenter of Bake Off?’

‘No.’ Daisy drummed her fingers on the arm of the sofa. ‘It needs to be something a bit rubbish, that feels like a comedown from Spotlight. Benny won’t share something that looks like I’m doing well.’

‘So you could be a contestant on a gameshow?’ asked Ruby. ‘Or reality TV? Like I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!’

‘Yes, that kind of thing,’ Daisy beamed. ‘But not so ridiculous that Benny would dismiss it as nonsense or look for confirmation. I’m A Celeb is ITV, that would be a contractual nightmare. Benny would check.’

‘And you really think he’ll tell the press?’ asked Will.

‘If it’s stupid gossip and makes it look like my career is on the wane or might embarrass me, he won’t be able to resist,’ Daisy mused. ‘It will be online by Sunday morning, at which point I can get Katie to officially deny it.’

‘Does it have to be a TV thing?’ asked Tom, standing up to pace the room in a headmasterly way. He looked like a man who needed a whiteboard and a selection of coloured pens.

‘No, not necessarily. It could be, like, I don’t know, theatre. Or politics. Or a public appearance.’

‘So . . . for example, you could have agreed to turn on next year’s Christmas lights in, I don’t know, somewhere random. Evesham, or Stow-on-the-Wold.’

‘YES,’ exclaimed Daisy, clapping her hands. ‘That’s exactly the kind of mediocre nonsense I’m looking for.’

‘What about another BBC TV show?’ asked Will.

‘Ooh,’ said Ruby, sitting up. ‘You could do Celebrity Mastermind.’

‘I like that,’ said Daisy, nodding thoughtfully. ‘But what would my specialist subject be? That’s the bit that makes it interesting.’

‘It needs to be really nerdy,’ suggested Will. ‘Norse mythology, or Dungeons & Dragons.’

‘Vampire fiction,’ suggested Tom.

‘Hmm,’ said Daisy. ‘They’re all good, but I’ll take vampire books, I think. I definitely read Twilight.’ The smile Tom gave her was so sweet it made her stomach turn cartwheels.

‘OK, we’ve got two.’ Ruby looked at Will. ‘What else?’

‘What about a survival show?’ he suggested. ‘The kind where you live in the wilderness with whatshisname. Bear Grylls. And then you learn to kill animals with your bare hands.’

‘Or you could be the new presenter of Crufts?’ suggested Ruby.

Daisy shook her head. ‘Clare Balding would never let that go. And anyway, I allegedly threw a shoe at a dog, remember?’

Ruby’s face fell. ‘Oh yeah. Nobody’s booking you for Crufts.’

‘OK.’ Tom clearly felt the need to keep this class in order. ‘Let’s go with a new Bear Grylls show. And we’ve got Christmas lights and Mastermind. We need one more.’

‘I’ve got it.’ Ruby’s eyes glittered at Daisy. ‘Now you’re officially single, you could be in discussion to do Celebrity Love Island. For charity, obviously.’ She glanced at Tom awkwardly. ‘Sorry, Tom.’

Tom held up his hands. ‘It’s absolutely fine. If your mum wants to hang out on an exotic island with lots of hot celebrity men, I won’t stand in her way.’

‘Thanks,’ said Daisy with a sarcastic smile, ‘Love Island it is, although honestly I can’t think of anything worse.’

Yeah, right, Ruby’s expression said.

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Daisy met Miriam, Stella and Justin outside the school hall half an hour before the fete was due to open, conscious that she’d had precisely zero involvement in the organisation of this event and had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. The blizzard had cleared to reveal a beautiful winter’s day of blue skies, sunshine and a fresh carpet of snow, and vehicles were already carving a path in the school field that had been turned into a makeshift car park, directed by members of the local Scouts in hi-vis jackets.

‘It’s very easy.’ Miriam bustled around the stalls, waving to her fellow helpers as Daisy followed her more slowly, sipping coffee from a thermos cup, Justin and Stella trailing in their wake. ‘Just a few words at 11 a.m. to announce the fete open, thank the school and all the volunteers, that sort of thing. You’ll be fine.’

‘I’m sure I will,’ said Daisy, rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. She’d presented live TV for twenty-five years, so this wasn’t her first rodeo.