Page 22 of Snowed In with You

‘So what happens now?’ asked Lucy, sick with worry. Her stomach was sloshing with wine and pizza, and she could already feel a queasy hangover setting in. The prospect of being featured in a Channel 5 disaster-documentary about dramatic mountain rescues definitely wasn’t helping.

Gunther smiled and rubbed his straggly beard. ‘We wait to hear from the mountain safety people. They know we are here and will call us.’ He picked up his phone from the bar and waved it. ‘Look, we still have Wi-Fi. It’s fine.’

Lucy instinctively picked up her phone to check – she was still connected to the bar Wi-Fi. ‘Will Ulrich definitely be able to take us back down, do you think?’ she asked. Much as she’d had an unexpectedly nice afternoon, she’d feel a lot less exposed once she was back down in the village.

‘There will be no buses until they have said it is safe,’ said Monica, picking up her phone. ‘Ulrich is down in the village, I can see his location on here. He will wait to hear from the safety people, then let us know.’

‘Have another drink,’ said Gunther, holding out his arms like they were all congregants at his church of wine and pizza. ‘Relax, enjoy the adventure, make some new friends. We will let you know when we have news.’

Lucy slumped back into her seat, her heart rate slowly returning to normal and the tension easing from her body. This whole situation felt so surreal, and she had no idea what to do. She looked at Nate, who was staring at his hands, his eyes wide and his lips silently moving. She watched him carefully for a minute, realising that in this moment he reminded her of her brother. The same folding inwards of his body, and the twitching, restless hands. It also explained the strange mood swings out of nowhere, like he didn’t trust the world to keep him safe.

‘Shit, I’ve just realised,’ she said softly. ‘You have an anxiety disorder.’

Nate gave her a fierce look, like he thought she might be mocking him. She smiled softly and held his gaze, hoping he’d see that she understood.

‘Yes,’ he said. His voice was barely more than a whisper.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she asked.

Nate shrugged and swallowed hard. ‘It’s low level, mostly, and circumstantial – day to day I’m usually fine, but it’s hardly a conversation starter.’ He half-smiled, and Lucy could see that talking was helping.

‘What circumstances make it worse?’ asked Lucy. It felt important to know, considering their situation, and it definitely wasn’t her first time at this particular rodeo.

‘Airports and flying are hard,’ said Nate. ‘I’ve got some calming stuff I can listen to when I travel. Social situations are a whole other thing.’

Hence the headphones in the airport and him leaving the party early, thought Lucy, kicking herself for not spotting it sooner.

‘This morning the mountains were too big, the sun was too bright and the snow was too deep. I definitely should have read the signs and stayed at the hotel.’ Nate forced a laugh, like he was trying to brush it off as nothing, but Lucy knew it wasn’t nothing.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, feeling inexplicably guilty. She’d been so caught up in her own dramas that she’d entirely failed to notice that Nate was struggling. And even worse, she’d dismissed his strange behaviour as rudeness, when it was clear he was only trying to hold it together.

‘Just keep breathing, OK?’ she said gently. The bar felt quiet after the bustle of lunch – Gunther was speaking in a low voice to the man and woman from the band, and the two tall men at the next table were hunched over their phones. Right on cue, Lucy’s phone vibrated and she snatched it up. It was Jonno, on a WhatsApp video call.

‘Hey,’ he said as she answered it. He looked pale and worried. ‘I’m with Sasha and Kristoff. You guys OK? There’s been an avalanche.’

‘I know, we heard it,’ said Lucy. ‘The building was actually shaking. But we’re fine, we’re still in the bar.’

‘Thank fuck for that,’ said Jonno, rubbing his hand over his face. ‘We were worried you might already be on the bus coming back down.’

‘No, we’re still here. We may have to wait a while, though.’

‘I’ve just spoken to the owner of our hotel; they’re pretty sure nobody was in the path. They closed the mountain an hour ago.’

‘Yeah, the landlord here said the same.’ Lucy breathed, relieved that they weren’t going to be a sidebar in a Swiss mountain tragedy. Survivor’s guilt and PTSD were both familiar territory, but she could do without another two years of therapy.

‘Is Nate with you?’ It was Sasha’s voice.

‘I’m here,’ said Nate, as Lucy turned her phone so he was on camera. He kept his voice steady, and Lucy wondered if Sasha knew about his anxiety. She must do; it wasn’t the kind of thing you could hide for very long, and Lucy had worked it out within hours. ‘We’re both fine,’ he added. ‘Everything’s cool.’

‘Keep us posted, yeah?’ That was Kristoff’s voice, before he appeared on camera looking like a chiselled god in black ski gear. ‘The bar will be open when you get back.’

‘They’re literally IN a bar,’ said Jonno, and Lucy could hear his eyes rolling even though the camera was still on Kristoff.

‘We’ll let you know as soon as we’re on our way,’ said Lucy. ‘Don’t have any fun without us.’ She ended the call and looked at Nate, wondering what was going on inside his head right now.

‘Can we keep talking?’ he asked.

‘Sure,’ said Lucy with a soft smile. Clearly nothing was going to happen for a while, and she owed him this. ‘What would you like to talk about?’