Page 85 of Unfettered

Grabbing the back of his chair, I slide it out from behind his desk, ignoring him as he protests. I don’t hesitate to reach for him, scooping him up and tossing him over my shoulder. I have to rebalance on my leg, as the sudden movement and added weight aggravates my hip, but I manage. He’s small, slighter than both Roman and Antonio, so it’s no problem to hold him.

He fights, but he’s being conscious not to hurt me, so I’m able to stride out of his office. “Put me the fuck down, now!” he snarls.

“Mmm, no. You chose the hard way. I hope you have your keys on you,” I muse, as I flick the lock on his office door before closing it firmly behind us once I step into the hall.

“You’re such a fucking asshole!” He tries to get out of my grasp, but I tighten my hold, walking surely, if not a little hitchy, due to the awkward, unbalanced way I’m carrying him, out of the medical area.

“Settle,” I order, before smacking my hand over his ass. It’s not a perfect strike, as the angle is shit and there's not enough force, but the simple act of doing so catches his attention for a moment as he forgets to fight me.

“I hate you,” he says, as he tries to slide off me.

“I don’t care.” Stopping, I readjust my hold on him, pulling him from my shoulder and cradling him in my arms instead. With both arms around him, it’s harder for him to try to escape.

“Doc is going to be pissed if you’ve hurt yourself,” he tells me when I start walking again.

“I’m fine. Once I sit and rest for a while, the limping will stop.” Maybe. At this point, I’m used to it. Jayden and Doc can only help me maintain my range of motion, and manage the pain, since I refuse to sit things out and take it as easy as they would like. But, in the two years since my mother tried to kill me, I’ve gotten used to the ever-constant pain, and my body’s limitations haven’t stopped me from doing what I need to.

I carry Javi into the small sitting room, which has, thankfully, already been set up to my specifications.

“What’s this?” Javi asks as I put him down in front of the couch. He studies the coffee table that's laden with breakfast foods like he’s never seen such a thing before.

“You haven’t been eating or sleeping—don’t try to argue. It all stops today. I know you’re grieving, and I’m so sorry. No one should go through what you are, but you cannot slowly kill yourself. Ely wouldn’t have wanted you to do that.”

“Do not tell me what she would or would not have wanted,” he snarls, turning from the food to face me. “You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re right,” I say slowly. “I don’t. I’m lucky enough to have never lost anyone important to me, but you’re not alone, Javi.”

He glares up at me, his eyes burning with emotions that I can’t read, before it all goes blank and there’s nothing for me to decipher on his face. “Don’t. You can’t help me. Nobody can.”

He tries to storm off, but I grab him, holding him tightly against my chest as he thrashes. I wince as I overbalance and pain shoots through me, but even as we fall onto the couch, I don’t let him go.

Javi fights, thrashing in my embrace, growls and grunts escaping his mouth as he tries his best to escape. I roll us onto the floor, and his back hitting the ground momentarily stuns him.

Placing one hand at his throat, I hold him in place, forcing him to look up at me with those wet, shiny eyes.

“It’s okay to hurt, Paperotto,” I tell him softly. “It’s okay to mourn her. I don’t want you to hold that grief inside, not anymore. You’re safe with me.”

I hold him down, hooking my legs over his, ignoring how uncomfortable the position is for me.

Javi tries to shake his head, but I tighten my grip on his throat, holding him still as I steal his breath for a moment.

He swallows when I release the pressure, and stares up at me. His honey eye is dark and swirling, while the green one sparkles like a diamond in the sun, as they both fill with tears.

“It’s okay,” I tell him softly. “You’re safe.”

His whole body shudders underneath me, and the dam finally breaks, tears flowing down his face as he begins to cry. I hold him down for a while longer, not trusting that he won't escape, before slowly easing up.

Keeping a firm hold on his throat, I sit up, wincing at the movement as I pull him along with me until I’m sitting on the floor. Javi easily goes into my lap, wrapping himself around me and holding on like I’m the only thing keeping him together. And from the way he sobs, as he buries his head in my neck, I believe I am.

We sit there on the floor long enough for my ass and hip to go numb, my shirt and skin both soaked through with his tears. But I will hold him for as long as he needs me to, because he’s mine, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for those I’ve claimed.

Javi pulls back, his eyes red and puffy, his bottom lip trembling as he speaks. “I’m sorry.” He signs the words as well, pressing his fist tightly against his chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Using my thumbs, I wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I want you to unravel with me.”

“Why?”

“I keep telling you, you’re mine.”