Page 107 of I Choose You

When my work number rang with an unidentified number, I answered, too ingrained not to answer when it could be any given number from an extension. “Brooke Ponder. How can I help you?”

“Hi!”

I flinched, lifting the phone from my ear at her loud, peppy chirp of a greeting.

“Hello.”

“This is Polly,” she said, introducing herself as a sales rep from the store Rena and I had gone to.

“Our rewards members information tells me you made a purchase recently.”

I curled my lip and rolled my eyes. Rena must have signed me up when I was changing. She knew how I hated these spammy things. At least she used my work number and not my personal.

“I just wanted to let you know we’ve received new products of the line you enjoy. If you’re enjoying the backcountry dream lingerie set, we now also have—”

Click.

I pressed my lips together and held in a scream.

I did not need yet another reminder of Kaden.

“Fuck it,” I muttered. I closed out of my emails, locked my computer, and stood. Hating the position I’d put myself in, I grabbed my phone and the file of documents Todd asked me to get signed.

May as well get it over with now before I drove myself crazier.

It would have been quicker to jump on the bus, but I figured the exercise of walking would help clear my mind. My shoes weren’t ideal for a walk, but I made do, taking a slow pace to reach the Wagner Industries headquarters.

I zoned out as I walked, not focusing on Kaden. Or that was my goal. I tried any and every technique I had in my repertoire.

When I was enrolled in business school at the local community college near where I’d grown up, I had to attend at least one public speaking commitment that related to community growth for my social psychology course. In other words, listen to anyone ramble and talk about any old thing.

The first one I planned to go to was canceled. The next one I found out about was rescheduled. By that point, I’d begun to lose hope I’d ever cross off that criterium for my grade. When Mom suggested a free seminar thing about hope, I figured it was just another religious recruitment sort of thing. It wasn’t. I’d broken down in tears by the end of the motivational speaker who shared her tale of overcoming abuse. She’d reached me and inspired me to change. To not dwell in the past. To be positive. All of it. That speaker jumpstarted my makeover from my high school hell, and I still remembered those tricks that I’d relied on when faced with nerve-wracking situations or when I was drowning in too many big emotions.

None of them worked. Counting my breaths. Counting my steps. Measuring the force of my footfall and imagining the kinetic energy from the ground up. I couldn’t calm myself down.

Square breathing failed me too, and I supposed that was likely more effective when sitting down and trying to relax, not striding quickly down a sidewalk and preparing for a horrible confrontation.

I ran out of time to put it off though. I was there. Just a block ahead, and I’d be there to see Kaden after he’d tormented my every thought.

Maybe it’ll help? If I saw him and stood strong. It could be a practice-makes-perfect situation. The more I subjected myself to the torture of seeing him, my heart would harden again.

God. Did I really say that? Their souls were black pits?

I shook my head, looking down as I approached the entrance to their building. Construction barriers and cones were set up every which way, detouring foot traffic to accommodate whatever big project they were jackhammering half of the damn road for.

When I was sure I was near the steps, I glanced up.

And stalled, doing a double-take.

It’s not him. I tried to calm my heart, but they were so damn similar, I needed a moment to chill.

Kody stood at a street vendor parked outside the entrance to their building. He turned, coffee in hand, just as I happened to look up and spot him.

Shit.

I drew in a deep breath and regretted it immediately. Hacking and coughing at sucking in a lungful of the dusty construction air, I climbed up the steps.

Fate sure was in a bitchy mood today because Kody approached the entrance at the same time.