Page 120 of I Choose You

Designers hurried from one rack and one person to the next, snapping out orders and recommendations I couldn’t keep up with. Would I be quizzed on this? Some guests sat back and sipped champagne, but I knew if I tried to relax with alcohol, I’d become a bumbling lightweight.

From the moment I entered the enormous room, I felt like an imposter, a pauper in the palace. It reminded me of a slight resemblance to the story of Cinderella, which deepened the vise grip of anxiety and insecurity that had a chokehold on me.

Just breathe. And get through it.

I fought to stand steady and not show how nervous I was as the designers held measuring tapes up to me and inspected me clinically with so many people around.

Just breathe.

“Yes, Brooke, this one,” the designer said as she thrust a dress at me. I’d avoided actually having to try anything on, but they’d deemed it was my turn. These events didn’t allow for lurkers.

“Go on.” The designer clapped her hands as I took the dress. She shooed me to go behind a curtain, and with trembling fingers, I changed.

Kaden wasn’t treating me like a date at all. As I changed, I thought back to the gorgeous green dress with the slit, comparing the easy closeness we had then and the huge separation we had now. He wasn’t treating me like he had at the other events. The distance between us—figurative and literal—had me aching for him to notice me.

I didn’t dare look at my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t risk that mental warfare. I didn’t feel like myself and hated that the times I’d spoken up about what I liked, since I would be the one wearing the garment to the wedding, I was dismissed and talked over like I didn’t have a voice and my opinions didn’t matter at all.

Nope. They’d just shoved a dress at me and I was expected to obey.

I stepped toward the curtain but paused.

How much is this thing anyway? I slapped my hand over my mouth to hide my gasp.

I was wearing more than a damn mortgage payment. I prayed that I wouldn’t sweat in it and ruin it.

Please. Please. I opened my eyes, trying my best to shove down my nerves as I walked out. Please, please notice me. Just for a moment.

I locked my gaze on Kaden as I entered the mayhem. All eyes fell on me. Everyone looked at me in this shimmery silver dress. I’d never felt so exposed, and I swallowed, hoping I wouldn’t trip.

“Oh, my God,” Mercedes gushed. “You look gorgeous!”

I breathed a little easier, tearing my gaze from Kaden when he glanced at me from the men’s side of the room. Indifferent. His face didn’t change at all before he faced his mirror again.

“This is the one. Oh, this is totally the one,” Mercedes exclaimed as she approached me. “You look incredible.”

“I like it,” one of the bridesmaids agreed, nodding. She pushed up her boobs. “Makes your tits look spectacular.”

Kody looked up from pulling a jacket on. He raised his brows with an appreciative expression. I expected him to catcall with that look. “Damn, Brooke. You look hot enough to—”

“Kody,” Mr. Wagner scolded.

“Sweetheart, you look absolutely lovely,” Margaux said. Her maternal tone was so sweet and tender, I couldn’t help but think of the way my mom complimented me.

I murmured my thanks to them all, but before I returned to the changing area, I glanced back up.

Kaden hadn’t said a word. He adjusted his cufflinks and looked at himself in the mirror.

“Thank you,” I told the designer, hurrying to get back in my clothes.

I’m such a fucking fool. Tears threatened, but I pressed my fingertips to my cheeks and fought them back.

I was the last one of the women, and as the men hung back to chat and joke, I followed the bridal party outside to the back. I accepted a flute of champagne and faked sipping it just so I wouldn’t stand out. I didn’t know anyone well enough to seek refuge with. Well, Mercedes was nice, but she knew all the bridesmaids and I didn’t want to intrude on their conversations.

I wanted to run. I wanted to leave and hide. I didn’t belong here, not as a fake non-date or anything else.

After a while, the men joined us on the back patio near the gardens. Cocktails were poured. Appetizers were picked up. Mingling and chatting, they all moved around as one big crowd that I had no way to merge into.

God. I can’t do this. Kaden didn’t approach me once, and I tried to smile and look calmer than I felt. My skin seemed to choke me, so itchy and not right. Even though we were out in the open, I felt claustrophobic.