Page 135 of I Choose You

Is it just sex? I didn’t want to think it was. Brooke wasn’t fling material. She was something more. I felt it when I wanted to show her that I thought she was beautiful—inside and out. I felt it when she held me in the hot tub when I was sad. Something more than frantic fucks was simmering between us, but I was nervous to ask and put it on her to label anything.

The main thing that held me back from asking for more, or to ask her to tell me what she saw in me and wanted from me, was our past. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her I wasn’t the one who strung her along. I so badly wanted to spill the truth that Kody played that cruel joke on her, not me.

But Kody was my brother. My twin. I felt like I had to protect him. Brooke may have had a tricky journey to overcoming her past, and it seemed to still impact her today. I didn’t know how she would take the news about him though.

How would it work if she knew he was the one who’d hurt her, not me? How was that a solid foundation for starting a relationship? She could want me and enjoy riding my dick, but she’d loathed my brother—who was very much a part of my daily life? It couldn’t work. It would be too complicated, and I’d forever be torn between appeasing her and then him, as they constantly remained enemies.

I felt stuck keeping the truth from her. It festered in me like a rotten bomb about to explode and stink up everything. Yet I couldn’t figure out a way to explain it all that wouldn’t leave her feeling worse than she already still did about it. More than anything, I had to be delicate and tread carefully because I worried that telling her the truth would trigger her to experience more pain.

She woke then, rolling over to cover me with her sluggish, slender body. With an arm and a leg draped over me, she smiled against my chest and nuzzled me.

I had my hands behind my head, but I lowered one to stroke her back.

“You’re so warm,” she drawled. “This is way better than hot yoga.”

“Oh, yeah?”

She sighed, snuggling close. “Rena and I usually go every Sunday morning. Except when I’m hungover or she’s on vacation.”

“Have you heard from her?”

She nodded, propping her chin on her hand that rested on my chest. Peering at me, she smiled. “Yeah. The standard vacation posts. The tour group got roped into a Greek wedding somehow. I guess the more the merrier.”

“I can’t believe my dad’s getting married in two weeks.”

“Still unsure about it?” she asked.

I shook my head, playing with a strand of her silky hair. “Nah. As long as he’s happy.”

“What else is there to do? For planning and events and such?”

I sighed, considering it all and worrying that was all she saw me for. Once our fake dates were done, then what? “Just the bachelor and bachelorette parties.”

“That’s right.” She scrunched her face. “Mercedes invited me. But I won’t go. I don’t know anyone in the bridal party.”

“Dad’s having his at the lake house.”

“The same mansion-cabin in that picture in your office?”

I shook my head. “No. Something closer. It’ll just be his friends and a few guys my age. But it’s a really cool place. Perfect for getting away from it all.”

She smiled, and I stroked her cheek. “I’d love it if you came.”

“To a bachelor party?”

“Well, to go there with me.”

So much for not asking for more.

“I would like that too. Or anything of a break or a getaway. I’m long overdue. My career is my life, but…” Her finger tickled me in those slow back-and-forth traces she drew on my chest. “Well, work isn’t all I can live for. I should use Rena’s burning-the-fancy-candle advice more often.”

“Huh?”

“She was the one who encouraged me to text you for that first drink. She said why wait to do the stuff you avoid or put off.”

“Like not taking a day for granted and living in the present?”

“Yep.”