Page 32 of I Choose You

“Stop!”

Groaning at my phone would have seemed juvenile in any other circumstances, but this morning wasn’t ordinary. I didn’t drink often. Too many empty calories I didn’t need if I wanted to avoid being a fat frumpy fool again. Taking care of my body was a practice I’d perfected, and alcohol simply didn’t have enough pros to outweigh the cons.

Last night, though, I sure hadn’t followed that logic.

I’d started out strong. Or weak. I’d indulged in one drink to settle my nerves about seeing Kaden. But then at dinner, I found it easier to relax with another round. And another. Then yet another.

I rubbed my head, embracing the darkness.

How much did I drink?

Too much, obviously. I replayed ordering them and sipping them as Kaden and I talked about everything but what I should have sought closure for. We didn’t mention high school at all, and without that topic, we’d gotten along well.

“Fuck.”

I enjoyed myself, and as that realization dawned on me, I worried about how much I’d embraced his company. After the second martini, things got blurry. He hadn’t ordered as much, and I knew he drove me home.

I opened my eyes too fast and gasped. Flinging my arm at the mattress, I checked that I was alone. A frantic grope of my body proved I wore the same clothes from last night. My fingers didn’t smear makeup when I touched my face, though, so I must have had the foresight to wipe it off before I crashed.

I did crash—alone—didn’t I?

No, I would know. No sex. No anything, it seemed, but regret and shame mixed together in a potent punch.

What did I do? Red flags of alarm sobered me but didn’t erase the headache. It worsened it. As I sat up and silenced another clock going off on my phone, I tried to remember. Something nagged me. I’d done something, but what? A tiny flicker of embarrassment lingered, and I worried about what I’d done to warrant it.

Another alarm went off.

“Yeah, hot yoga is not happening today.” I scowled at the low battery icon and reached over for the cord on my nightstand. As I reached over, I spotted a glass of water and two painkillers. I definitely hadn’t gotten those. Kaden?

He came into my room? He had to have put those there, knowing I’d be in pain after all that alcohol. His gesture was oddly touching, but I wasn’t awake or clear-headed enough to appreciate it.

I plugged my phone in and blinked to focus on the line of texts.

Rena: Hope the dinner is going well. *wink*

Rena: Don’t drink too much. You’re a lightweight.

Gee, really?

Rena: Okay you’re not replying to any of these. You either didn’t go and chickened out or you’re still there and having such a good time you can’t peek at your phone.

Rena: Are you still there?

Rena: Okay. Your map says you’re there. I hope it’s going okay.

Rena: Text me when you’re home.

Rena: Did you invite him over?

I suspected I might have. Concentrating wasn’t happening yet.

Rena: You should be on your way to hot yoga by now. Text me.

That one came in this morning.

Rena: If you don’t reply within the hour I’m coming over to make sure you’re alive.

I took the pills and swallowed them. That water went down fast but I needed more. The effort to get out of bed was too taxing to consider.