Page 58 of Never Let Go

Hope laughed. “Well, at least we know you don’t have any confidence issues, but seriously. Are you nervous?”

“No.” My heart sped up a little and I scowled. “Well, I wasn’t, but I think I might be getting nervous now, so thanks for that.”

She lowered her head closer to her shoulder and pursed her lips at me. “This isn’t about what I think. It’s all about you and I didn’t mean whether you’re nervous about your looks or hers. I meant whether you’re nervous about finally being able to get to know her when she’s right in front of you. What if you’re surprised by her?”

“Why would I be surprised by her?” I groaned. “What’s going on, Hope? You’ve been acting weird all along and you’re doing it again.”

“I’m not doing anything,” she protested. “I just want you to be prepared. It’s a big moment.”

It hit me then. “You’re still not over finding out it was Porter all along, are you? That’s what this is really about.”

She held my gaze for a long moment before she let out a deep breath. “All I’m saying is that the reveal is a big moment. You need to be prepared for any eventuality.”

“I don’t care what she looks like,” I said, thinking back to the sweet taste of her skin and full swells of her breasts under my lips. “Trust me, I’m into her. Very much so.”

“I believe you, but what about Shelby?”

I frowned, banishing the memories of last night for now. “What about her?”

“You and I haven’t had a chance to talk about her, and I know you had a crush on her before. You’ve also seen her a couple more times now, so are you over her? Do you still have a crush on her?”

“I don’t,” I said honestly. I considered my next words carefully before I said them. “I really did like her and I wish her all the best, but as much as I think part of me will always wonder what things would’ve been like with her, I don’t have a crush on her anymore.”

A strange flicker of apprehension sparked behind Hope’s eyes. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t. Look, to tell you the truth, what I have with Amanda is a lot like what I used to think life with Shelby would be like if we were dating. We have a lot of similar qualities and they’re both sweet, intelligent women, but I’m with Amanda now and that means that I’ve had to stop thinking about Shelby that way.”

The weird look on her face intensified. “I really liked Parker before I found out he was Porter, but I still had dreams about Porter. You can’t tell me you’ve managed to just get over a woman you’ve had a crush on for so long.”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” I leaned forward and slid my elbows onto my desk. “There’s a big difference between you and Porter and me and Shelby. She and I never became friends, let alone best friends. We haven’t stayed in touch or talked at all since I graduated. I haven’t had a crush on her all this time. I had a crush on her then, it went away, and when she unexpectedly reappeared in my life in the last place I thought I’d see her, it caught me off guard for a minute, but that’s where it ends.”

“Okay,” she said slowly and unconvincingly as she got up. “Good luck with your next date, Foster. I hope it goes well.”

Before I could ask her again what the hell was going on with her, she fled from my office like her butt was on fire. I sighed, shaking my head, and turned back to my computer. Hope would tell me what was going on with her sooner or later. I was sure of it.

I suspected her apprehension was simply because of her own experience and I couldn’t exactly judge her for that. Not when I’d had such a big role to play in her confusion and eventual heartbreak before I’d helped him make it right.

As I got to work, I was more tempted than ever to look up Amanda’s information on the system, though. Something about that conversation with Hope had left me feeling unsettled, and my fingers hovered above the keyboard to type in her name.

Just as I was about to give in and do it, my door burst open and Layla came rushing in, looking like she was close to tears. I frowned at our latest client manager, waving her into the seat Hope had vacated.

“What’s up, Layla? Just breathe. Whatever you did, I’m sure we can fix it.”

She swung her teary gaze to mine. “I think I might’ve set up a client with his stepsister.”

I sighed. So much for looking up my own date.

“Okay. Why don’t you take a deep breath and start at the beginning? Everything is fine, Layla. You’ve only been here for a few weeks and you’ve been doing a great job. Even if what you think is true, I’ll contact the clients and we’ll explain. Just talk me through it, okay?”

I spent the rest of the day with her, eventually finding out that her suspicion was untrue, but then I walked her through the system again so that we could avoid her making that very mistake in the future. By the time I got to my own work, I was so pressed for time that I couldn’t make any to look up Amanda, but I was still thinking about it when I left for the day.

That night, I started packing up my apartment. A couple of days ago, I’d given my notice to my landlord and then, just as I was on my way home earlier, he let me know he was letting me out of my lease at the end of the month.

It turned out that he’d already found a new tenant and that he could charge this guy more than I was paying. After putting in a call to Avery, my move was now set to happen in just a couple of weeks.

Although I’d been uncertain if it was the right move before, I’d taken my mother, Porter, and Amanda’s words to heart and I’d decided to let go of my insecurities about the inheritance.

It was time to just accept what had happened. To take ownership of my new life unapologetically and to make the best of it. The fact of the matter was that everything in my life was changing, but it was for the better.